Lto Italian Society of Psychiatry he turned 150 years old. And for the first time it is in the hands of women, governed by two co-presidents. An opportunity to finally bring attention to women’s needs and priorities in terms of mental health, after the 2020 health emergency seemed to weigh especially on the emotional and mental well-being of women. Was it really like that?
Emotional burden, too much weight on women
«The pandemic was an accelerator of phenomena that had already been underway for some time» explains Emi Bondi, president of Sip and director of the Mental Health and Addictions Department of the Asst (territorial socio-health companies) Pope John XXIII of Bergamo.
«It catalyzed a social malaise by immediately placing it largely on the shoulders of women. They were the ones who had to manage their young children by helping them with distance learning, who supported the teenagers in a very difficult moment for them, to have taken on the care of the elderly in the familyall this while trying to carry on with work and managing the house. And it was they who also supported much of the health impact of the pandemic: 80 percent of the nursing staff is female. With the easing of the health emergency, things did not get better: fears due to an increasingly hostile world, between wars and climate change, have increased stress.”
The family agenda is in the hands of women and multitasking is a daily reality. (Getty Images)
Motherhood as a guilt
Women, however, have been under pressure since before Covid spread. In fact, with the social transformations of recent years, for many it is the mental load of wanting and having to manage everything, from work to family, that has a prevalent impact, rather than material tasks.
«The family agenda is still in the hands of womenAlso in lucky couples where the partner is available to helpand multitasking is a daily reality for many” underlines Bondi.
When multitasking is not a compliment
«It happens because we have adapted to a world tailored to men, in which the reference values are those of competitiveness and aggressiveness. The work environment requires us to perform and be productive. Despite our efforts, we often don’t make a career because the logic of the pack prevails, which defends the privileges of the men in command.”
«We have not yet managed to promote different working models and often we don’t network, we don’t show solidarity. Thus, for example, we are penalized by motherhood, a period in which instead of dedicating ourselves to our children we feel under stress because we should show that we are still present and available: we experience it as a limit to personal and work fulfillment, rather than an indispensable social task such as And”.
«Working at a more humane pace, educating children and being present for them should be considered a valuebut today that is not the case.”
But how do you do it all?
The results of this continuous pressure are there for all to see: the pandemic, detonator of problems that were smoldering under the ashes, is leaving behind a trail of suffering children and adolescentsdependent on the web (SIP estimates at least 700 thousand of them in Italy, connected to social media for up to six or more hours a day) and increasingly alone “also because mothers are caught up in the constant slalom between commitments” specifies Bondi.
Alongside them, a number of women with mood disorders, so much so that psychiatrists hypothesize at least 150 thousand more cases than expected for depression alone following Covid-19. But why can’t we shake off the “wonder-woman syndrome” which then leads us straight to exhaustion?
«We tend to have a greater spirit of self-sacrifice and take it for granted that we have to dedicate ourselves to others. We always want to be perfect and give 100 percent in what we do, but it’s not possible to do that» replies Bondi.
Income must be equal
To get out of it, society’s help would be needed because, as Liliana Dell’Osso, Sip co-president and professor of psychiatry at the University of Pisa adds: «Enough will never be done until the distribution of income is equal between the sexesgender will not be irrelevant for career or personal security purposes, childcare will not truly be shared. We need laws, but also awareness: it is the population’s perception that needs to change, of men certainly, but also of women towards themselves, because many continue to feel guilty in delegating family tasks or in preferring a career to motherhood.”
Bondi confirms this: «Equality is sharing, and it is the only way to get rid of the mental load. Stress can only be tolerated if there is recovery time: we shouldn’t feel guilty about taking care of ourselves or asking for the collaboration of family members. Even children, male and female: redistribute workloads within the family and make them responsible for doing their part, entrusting them with tasks compatible with their age, it is important to make them autonomous adults and aware that there are rights and duties in life, but also to pass on to them a model different from that of the angel of the hearth which keeps the selfishness of all family members alive to the detriment of their own mental well-being.”
The emotional burden causes anxiety and depression
Neglecting oneself and ending up “exploding” is an all too real riskknowing how to ask for help is the solution even when you realize that the discomfort undermines your mind.
«The body gives unequivocal signals, listening to each other is indispensable and becomes even more so if fragilities become worsefor example during pregnancy and postpartum” says Bondi.
«If we are exhausted every evening, if we no longer sleep well or wake up already tired, If we feel like we’re carrying a burden that never gets lightened, it’s time to seek help. Anxiety and depression devour energy and lead to neglect, even to “forget” screenings or medical visits. Many are still dragging a mental pathology that requires treatmentsometimes even pharmacological, thinking that these are somatizations of anxiety: talking to your doctor about your difficulties and understanding if and how to intervene is essential to regain mental well-being, which is the basis for staying healthy.”
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