Summer is on its way for a few days, or the nature documentary starts at Omroep MAX The seasons with spring. The voice that guides us through the four parts of the year belongs to biologist and writer Midas Dekkers. Less cheerful and almost naive in tone than Matthijs van Nieuwkerk the other day – he spoke in the recently broadcast nature documentary Wolf in. Dekkers immediately starts poking at nature’s weakest link: humans. Because what does it do when the seasons no longer match what we could always expect? Not changing his behavior, of course. We keep hoisting bins full of geraniums and petunias high in lampposts, even though the spring sun already burns the flowers wither and we are condemned to watering daily for the rest of the year. And if the green dies prematurely, we buy new ones. Spring is simply for sale at the garden center.
Dekkers understands the art of calmly pushing you deep into the pit. Nice, spring and all that new life, but also terribly tiring. Trees have to make leaves again, flowers have to bloom, blackbirds have to lay eggs again and people have to do all sorts of things. Out and about. Move outside. Recreate aimlessly. Free time should be spent wisely. It must be enjoyed. And then we get summer.
I have to say that I was already well on my way in that pit. I thought it was part of my duties to report on RTL4’s Blow up, a competition show in which contestants tie artwork from balloons. Second season this year, which is striking, because the program was not viewed that well last year. And now not again. 352,000 viewers for the first episode in May, which is not much for a Saturday evening program. Could have been the nice spring weather, but I’m afraid not. It’s not up to the participants either. The remaining four (Kim, Jacqueline, Joshua and Gijs) are the most friendly, helpful and talented balloon artists. On Saturday night they respectively made a peacock, a swan, a pirate boat and a phoenix for a carousel. From balloons yes. They were given three hours to do so. Then they made various market stalls (fish, vegetables, bread and flowers) and they were given ten hours to do so.
Hours of expensive craft time
How long can you watch people inflating, tying and weaving balloons? Not an hour and forty minutes. Not me. However beautiful and handsome the result may be, my thoughts drift to what the presenters (Leonie ter Braak and Martijn Krabbé) are doing in all those expensive hours of craft time and what the hell happens afterwards with all those balloons in all those colors? After the ice sculpture and the sand statue, the balloon seems to me transient and moreover polluting.
Shortly before the end of the Blow up semi-final, I switched to the Quiz with balls on SBS6. The big comeback by Johnny de Mol who is no longer a talk show host, but a lifeguard. Yes, sorry, I can’t make anything else out of it. Decor is a swimming pool with six slides. Five candidates in it. There are quiz questions… I’m already getting impatient when explaining the rules of the game. Let me say this about it: candidates have to stand at the slide with the correct answer, if they don’t, they will be pushed into the pool by a giant ball that slides down the slide.
Is that laughing when someone ends up in the water? Not really. Is it exciting? Also not. Does Johnny de Mol sometimes not do well as a quiz master? It works fine, that’s not the problem. Then what? Yes I know, I don’t make up those formats. It’s too slow for me, it’s too predictable, it’s so terribly contrived. If it has to be like this, then I will recreate aimlessly myself on Saturday evening.