Topi Borg has been bullied because of autism. Despite everything, he has never felt the need to show others that he can do well in life. He knows he can do it.
– Even if we have a different brain structure, we are still capable of love, tenderness and compassion. We are different, but we are not different.
Thus Top Borg, 28, describes autism and living with it. The top is one of Ylen On the spectrum– about the main characters of the program.
On the spectrumprogram follows the lives of four young adults diagnosed with autism. The opening episode of the program has so far had more than half a million views.
– Filming the program was the happiest time of my life. I met many people, went to new places, was able to open up. I even got to visit Lapland, Topi recalls last year’s filming.
Topi appears in the program with his family. Top’s second oldest older sister is entrepreneur and media personality Sointu Borg, 30.
The program actually started with Soinnu’s initiative, when he contacted the production company with his idea. The production company had already planned a program related to autism before, and the siblings jumping in was a turning point in terms of the program’s realization.
– On the spectrum is apparently Yle Areena’s most popular program that has been published this year, Sointu tells and makes Topi amazed.
– The most important thing is that awareness spreads and there is more understanding of autism. I started to cry when I heard that this program has been shown in schools, says Topi.
Top does not use social media services. He says he only uses Facebook and Whatsapp. For this reason, Sointu has received a huge number of contacts regarding the program and his brother. Several people have come to thank that the program has been made.
Sointu has also received a message about how parents of autistic children fear their children’s future. On the spectrumprogram follows, among other things, how Topi gets his first permanent job. This has created security and confidence for other autistic parents.
An ordinary family
Topi remembers thinking as a child that Sointu is an adventurous and even wild child.
– As a teenager, I thought that Sointu is out so much and she wears a lot of make-up, stop wearing make-up! During my university and adult years, I thought that I should stop stressing, Topi recalls.
Sointu says that their sibling relationship has always been close.
– As an adult, the relationship has been different. As an adult, you get to know each other a little like all over again. We talk a lot about deep things and we like to do things together, Sointu describes.
– As an adult, I have thought that he is one of the few people around me in this lonely world, Topi says, looking at Sointu gently.
Topi says that family is everything to her. – A good summary is that I love being with my family more than being with my friends, Topi says warmly. Henri Kärkkäinen
As a child, the siblings had an argument. However, Sointu already understood at a young age that you can’t annoy Topi too much, because he processes his emotions differently than others.
– Yes, even nowadays we show emotions, but situations are opened up right away. Topi gets nervous when I give too much advice and I get nervous when he has high laps, says Sointu.
Topi was diagnosed with autism as a child. Autism has always been treated neutrally in the family. There have been many ways to live with it, certainly also because Borgie’s mother is a child psychiatrist.
Break the heart
On the spectrum– program shows moments when Sointu cries because Topia has been treated unfairly due to autism during her life. Topi was bullied especially in elementary school.
Topi says that bullying has not been a big deal for her.
– For me, being bullied at school was not a big deal. Unfortunately it was a big deal for my sister, it has broken my heart as well. However, he has had a good reason to cry, Topi opens.
Sointu hopes that people would be proud of the show’s main characters. – It would be important for the main characters and their loved ones to be congratulated for opening up very painful points in front of the entire nation, Sointu says. Henri Kärkkäinen
Sointu and Topi attended the same kindergarten, elementary and middle school. Especially in elementary school, Sointu looked after his brother from time to time.
– The thing that bothers me On the spectrum– program was exciting too, was the fact that I have never cried to Top about these things before. And I haven’t actively thought about these things myself, but when people ask about them and discuss them, the feelings come to the surface, Sointu continues.
Topi tells one memory related to bullying. He recalls a time when bullies pushed him against a wall and he hit the back of his head on a coat rack.
– I said to the bullies: “Thank you, you straightened my posture.” They were confused because I wasn’t afraid of them, Topi recalls.
– They bullied me, but I didn’t show them fear. A bully’s best food is fear. If the bullied is not afraid, the bully becomes relatively helpless, he continues.
Help with movies
Topi himself says that he noticed his autistic difference most strongly at the end of middle school. In high school, he started imitating “normal people” so he could be like others. Around the same time, he moved from a special class to a normal class to study.
– I didn’t make any friends in high school, but I was very dedicated to learning. I passed almost every test on the first try. I am very proud of it, says Topi.
One of Top’s passions in life is sport. He especially likes running in nature. Henri Kärkkäinen
During his high school days, Topi also became interested in movies and today he calls himself a cinephile, i.e. a big fan of movies.
Topi has learned about human behavior and describing emotions through movies. Especially crime and spy films have taught a lot about body language and human activity.
– I have imitated from the actors how emotions can be expressed with micro expressions and other ways.
Top didn’t have many, if any, friends as a teenager. He says that from time to time he would have missed having peers by his side with whom to share things, but that has only been a passing feeling. He names family as his most beloved thing several times. The Borg family consists of five children and their parents.
Topi says that she hasn’t been recognized on the street despite the show’s popularity. – I will never achieve the same publicity as Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, Topi laughs. Henri Kärkkäinen
Topi reveals that she recently got a new friend, which she is very excited about. However, maintaining long-term friendships is neither easy nor natural for him.
Topi likes long conversations. He needs good conversational skills from everyone he spends time with. Sointu and Topi also discuss a lot of different things in their sibling relationship.
A relationship is also not a topical issue for Top right now, but it is completely possible in the future.
– If it’s really dark, then I can start a relationship. It’s only if you meet the right person, with whom you can have fun and talk. It is the most important ingredient in a relationship.
Happy life
Topi works in a grocery store. This is his first permanent employment. Sointu says that he is very proud of his brother.
– I wish I was as good at budgeting as Topi. He lives a fully happy, independent life. You live in your own room, you do a job you like, Sointu says, looking at Topi.
– I feel that your life is really well under control, Sointu adds.
Topi emphasizes that he can only do physical work, and that “office rat” jobs would not suit him. All kinds of paperwork as well as writing and, for example, answering long text messages, create a lot of stress for him.
In an autism spectrum disorder, memory and its function can vary. Topi remembers very well places, objects, his surroundings and everything he has read and seen. Faces and names, on the other hand, are not easily remembered by him.
– If I only meet a person once a year, and I don’t interact with them often, I forget the face. This is because I don’t think about them and they are not part of my everyday life, he opens.
Sointu says that he is happy that Topi is not on social media. Henri Kärkkäinen
The family has also tried to help Top remember important things. For example, Topi’s father taped a note above the front door that read: “Electricity, water, stove”. The purpose of the note was to remind that all devices had to be turned off before leaving the house.
– I took the note off the wall two years ago, and I have never once forgotten to turn on the electricity, water or heating when I left home. I always make sure four times that everything is off, says Topi.
Topi has not felt that he should show others that he can get along in society, even though he has autism.
– I can manage with my skills and improve myself. I fail, I feel disappointed and I rise up and become stronger just like anyone else.
Time and space
Topi hopes that On the spectrumprogram could act as an icebreaker for talking about autism. He especially wants to emphasize that not all autistic people are good at math or “geniuses”. Every individual is different, and the disorder can manifest differently in people.
However, Top has one tip for anyone facing autism.
– Give us time and space. We autistic people can reach your level. We can be polite, understanding, funny and intelligent, but it really takes a lot of time from us, says Topi.
– In the program, I wanted to show that we eat, make a budget, try to get a job just as passionately as all other people. Day by day, we love our friends and family in the same way, he continues.
Like Topi, Sointu hopes that autism spectrum disorders will be more acceptable in our society in the future. However, the chord reminds us that On the spectrum– program only follows the story of the four main characters, so it doesn’t tell everything about autism.
– It is absolutely impossible for this one program to open up everything about autism, Sointu states.
Sointu says that autism has not been talked about particularly much at home because it has always been part of their lives as a completely normal thing. Henri Kärkkäinen
Although Sointu has received a lot of good feedback about the program and about Topi opening up about her life as an autistic person, she has also received unwanted messages.
– Since autism has always been present in our family, I hope that no one comes to tell me how I should relate to autism or Top. It feels like it’s intruding on my personal affairs, Sointu stresses.
– Not even loved ones can escape autism, Topi adds.
For Top, the most important thing is how autism will be faced in the future, especially among children.
– This has been a really great thing, but the program could have been done much earlier. I hope as many people as possible would see On the spectrumprogram and would understand autism more in the future, Topi sums up.