SBeing seen, welcomed and understood is one of the deepest needs within a relationship. Yet, in everyday life, it is not always easy to go beyond one’s own point of view really get in touch with each other’s. THE’dyadic empathyor the ability to understand your partner’s emotions and feelings, represents a fundamental resource for building trust, complicity and closeness. The psychologist Paolo Antonelli explains why cultivating it can concretely improve the quality of a couple’s life.
Entering the other’s world
Dyadic empathy: a precious resource to cultivate in the couple’s relationship
Empathy is the ability to see the world as other people see it without any judgement and therefore concerns the ability to understand the feelings of others while keeping them distinct from your own. Empathy is in fact the ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoesmanaging to perceive his emotions and thoughts. In the specific case of a couple relationship, through empathy we have the possibility of access the inner, intimate and profound world of your partner.
What is dyadic empathy
Dyadic empathy is in fact what can be experienced within the dynamics of a couple and refers specifically to the dimension of empathy that can be felt towards the partner. In addition to facilitating the couple’s relationship in terms of support and closenessdyadic empathy constitutes a profound form of active listening because it allows you to identify with the feelings and emotions of others, freeing yourself from your own interpretative filters.
When empathy is not mutual
However, in the event that empathy is not mutual, conflicts are created dysfunctional dynamics which can compromise a balanced climate well-being, complicity and trust. If there is no empathy within the couple’s relationship, the behaviors of disinterest and carelessnessthe misunderstandings and bad moods, the feeling of being of little importance to the partner and the lack of sensitivity on the part of the other.
The work to do on yourself
To be an empathetic person is primarily necessary knowing how to identify and recognize one’s emotionsso that we can then identify them in other people too. Working on yourself is therefore fundamental: if we don’t know ourselves and don’t know how to distinguish, and preferably manage, our emotions, we will never be able to understand and therefore come into contact with those of others.
The two components of empathy
There are exactly two components of empathy: emotional empathythat is, the ability to experience the feelings of others while distinguishing them from one’s own, e cognitive empathythat is, the ability to recognize and understand what the other is feeling without necessarily feeling this emotional state in oneself.
Because it improves the quality of the relationship
Dyadic empathy therefore facilitates the mutual involvement and growthallows you to solve problems more simply and quickly misunderstandings, conflicts and argumentsallows you to feel understood and validated by the partnerand ultimately improves the quality of the couple’s bondas has been demonstrated by various Italian and international scientific research.
Signs of a lack of empathy
Unfortunately, in the absence of empathy in couples, behaviors and attitudes are usually observed such as:inability to respond affectively and cognitively to the emotions of othersthe difficulty in creating a relationship based on trust and esteemthe lack of attention, thoughtfulness and reciprocity towards others, and the difficulty in recognizing and appreciating them positive attachment signals by the partner.
When loving hurts, the book on emotional addiction
THE’Lovein its healthiest and most constructive manifestations, represents a profound and innate human needand implies an important motivation and a secure and functional attachment to others. Vice versa, when love turns into a habit of sufferingto the point of becoming what is defined as a real “emotional addiction”, presents itself as a pain capable of causing serious problems psychological, physical and relational.
In this condition, increasingly widespread in the contemporary world, the couple’s relationship is experienced as an indispensable prerequisite for one’s existence and this represents the antithesis of self-love.
In this volume the author provides an in-depth, complete and detailed examination of emotional addiction, based on an exhaustive analysis of the currently existing scientific literature.
The objective is to provide the reader with a clear idea of what emotional dependence is, how it is conceptualized and how it can manifest itself. As well as his own causes and strategies and intervention techniques to face and overcome it.