Dtwo weeks at the seaside, playing and joking with peers on the beach. For the little guests of the “Children’s House”managed by the Foundation The Tree of Life ETS which has been following minors and families in difficulty for twenty years, every year the holiday is a gamble. It’s a matter of finding financing (a lot of it), organizing a small move, still in the same house on the Romagna Riviera, and setting up all the daily activities of about ten children from zero to six years old, entrusted to the community.
«We are very keen to offer this opportunity that they otherwise wouldn’t havewe always do our utmost to achieve this” explains Claudia Angiulli, Sviluppo Milano representative. “Many of them have never seen the sea.” So far, the gamble has always paid off (you can contribute to fundraising).
In Italy, there are 30,936 minors who live outside the family for at least five nights a week, in foster care or in residential services. without counting unaccompanied foreign minors (data from the Ministry of Labor and Social Policies). The number is quite stable over the years and, among them, 85 percent are over six years old. These 30 thousand children are only talked about in a few sensational news cases, generally divisive. Then, silence descends. But who are they, and why are they separated from their parents?
The ZeroSei community of The Tree of Life welcomes pre-school children.
Foster care, family home or community?
«The law which, in 2001, closed orphanages, clearly stated that the minor’s right to live in his own family must be protected», explains Alessandro Iannini, professor of Psychology of marginality and deviance at the Salesian Pontifical University. «Where it is not possible, and a Court decree justifies it due to serious situations such as violence, abandonment, abuse, psychiatric problems or drug addiction, the minor has the right to live in another family, according to the temporary foster care system. But since it is difficult to find available families, here are theas a last resort, a socio-educational community or a family home takes over, again through the social services that take care of it».
Other possibilities for intervention are “prompt reception”, for risky situations, home care, and mother-child placementwhere a mother is followed step by step on her journey towards “full awareness, which almost always ends with a happy ending” explains Angiulli. «The woman already comes from a path that has strengthened her skills and is ready to start over with her son».
Educators are difficult to find
The difference between family home and community is more theoretical than practical: in the first there is a couple, who welcome a low number of minors, 4-5; in the second, there is a larger structure that can accommodate up to 10. But the situation is very varied, because each region has its own rulesthere are different age groups, the criteria – there are those who place unaccompanied foreign minors of different origins in the same facilities – the size of the reception and above all the criteria with which the fees are paid, «which are paid by the municipality of residence of the minor. In small ones, care for children placed outside the family can impact the budget” underlines Iannini.
«We like Salesians for social work we manage 33 family homes inspired by the principles of Don Boscothat is, always trying to create a warm and welcoming family community, even in a structure where there are perhaps 10 kids.” The children are looked after by educators, professionals with degrees in Education Sciences who work in teams on 24-hour shifts. They have the enormous responsibility of following a child from every point of view: health, scholastic, relational. It is not easy to find them (there is also a problem of inadequate salaries).
«Some communities close because they cannot find educators, who prefer to work in day care services or nursery schools» adds Iannini. However, educators are the heart of the system of assistance to children removed from their families. The possibility for a child to find the serenity he didn’t have at home, to grow, to learn to trust in himself depends on their commitment, professionalism but also passion. We listened to two of them. Here are their stories. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Every year, L’Albero della vita organizes a two-week holiday in Romagna for the little guests of the ZeroSei community. For this reason he started a fundraiser.
The summer at the seaside of the family home
Mariasole Vittadini, Coordinator of the ZeroSei minor communities of the Foundation The Tree of Life ETS
«I started as an educator at 23, today I’m 34; I’m proud of my work and I still get excited. The Tree of Life takes people into great consideration, and I really like this attention. I also feel like I’ve grown as a person. In our residential community, the “Children’s House”, as they call it, we host only the youngest children, from zero to six years old, in order to offer targeted services. We can accommodate a maximum of 10. We are nine educators, all graduates.
When the children arrive – and, let’s remember, the family home is the last possibility after all other attempts at inclusion have been made, even in the extended family unit – the first moment is very delicate. In most cases there is an agreement with the parents, there are even those who accompany their children to the facility, but this is not always the case. Many little ones are in a clear state of neglecthave seen or suffered violence or mistreatment; there are those who remember being left on the stairs without being able to enter the house and being afraid.
Our job is to offer an opportunitywith the awareness that time in community must be limited. We try to make sure that every child feels welcomed and wanted, we approach it in small steps, trying to explain that the father or mother cannot take care of him or her for a period, and that a judge has decided that he or she should stay for a while in the “children’s home”, where everyone can bring their toys and clothes. The important thing is to create a climate of trust, to provide a secure base.
What happens after the family home
How long do they stay? It depends on how long it takes the parents to recover, the situation and protected meetings are monitored. For example, if there is a drug-addicted parent, you need to be sure that he has completed his journey in a Sert or in a recovery communityand that he is clear when he meets his son with us. I would say that at most it is 2-3 years: last year, of all the children discharged, 50 percent returned to their families, the other half ended up in foster care or adoption.
We have a two-story house; on the ground floor there are different rooms divided by age groups, then there is the activity room and the kitchen. Above, the rooms. The little ones, up to three years old, stay with us all day, assisted by the educators. Those aged three to six go to nursery school regularly, so they can socializego to the swimming pool, dance, theater courses, and take part in trips with peers.
There are children who have only seen violence; our job is to show them that there is more to the world. We have a little girl who suffers from a bit of mutism, but she managed to say her name on stage, in front of an audience. Life immediately put them to the test.”
The family home: a mission
Linda Marchese with her husband Fiorenzo Celico manages the Salesian family home Il Timone in Corigliano-Rossano (CS). They have two children, aged 8 and 11
«I entered the Il Timone family home in 2007, with the Civil Service, and I remained as an educator. Today I am the coordinator, while my husband is an educator and administrator. Other educators, the social worker, the cook, the psychologist work with us and the volunteers of the Civil Service help us. We welcome children aged 13 to 21, sent by social services. At 18, many aren’t ready to leave yet. If the Court grants the “administrative continuation”, which allows them to continue with the educational intervention up to the age of 21, it is easier to help them get a diploma and enter the world of work.
Il Timone is in the city, in the Salesian structure; we have sports fields, a gym and an oratory, we are lucky. We currently host 12 kids; they have stories of economic hardship, educational poverty, some lived on the streets, 3 are foreigners. In most cases, parental rights are suspended and entrusted to a guardian; in others, the parents lose her permanently.
Reach the heart
They arrive scared, full of wounds and doubts. We try to reach their hearts and make them feel loved, as well as welcomed. The change comes when it is understood that the family home is an additional opportunity that the parents could not offer, even if we always try to maintain relationships with the family of origin, if possible.
A 21 year old boy asked to stay with us until he finds a home. He is a mechanic, the same profession as his father, and it is the job he dreamed of. When he died, he was left with a little brother and his mother, who however was not in a position to look after the children and left them in a state of abandonment, in addition to the fact that she had remarried a violent man. Another arrived from Ethiopia at 14 years old. In Libya he had suffered atrocious violence. He didn’t speak Italian but then managed to graduate from the hotel school, got his driving license and did his civil service at the oratory. He now works as a baker in a supermarket in the North and has bought a car.
In recent years, around fifty young people have come to us. Almost everyone has found their way, the older ones have gotten married and often come to visit us. For me and my husband it’s not just a job, otherwise we would be overwhelmed: it’s a missionand this allows us to face even the difficult moments, which slip away, and to make our action more effective.
We have two children, a house, but at many times our family gets involved in this other larger family. We follow Don Bosco’s pedagogy which is based on three pillars: authority, religion, reason. We are Salesian cooperators, that is, lay people who have embraced this life.”