Un day Luciano De Crescenzo, now elderly, met by chance a very young and very beautiful actress in the pharmacy. He didn’t introduce himself, he didn’t want to know his name. He only said to her: «A woman like her must have at least three boyfriends». Brigitte Bardot had already put that advice into practice long before. Yet polyamory, tolerated when not envied and admired among men, is still the subject of disapproval, criticism and social stigma among women.
In short, half a century after the sexual revolution, we’re still stuck with the stereotype that if he has a lot of women, he’s cool, and if she has a lot of men, she’s a no-good. Why?
Because according to the current mentality, the woman looks for the nest, while the man flies from here to there. Everything shows that this scheme is outdated, anchored as it was to a vision of sex exclusively linked to reproduction, and to the dominance of man over woman. Legacies from the past, of course. Nevertheless male betrayal is still considered – by not everyone obviously, but by many – less serious than female betrayal.
True sexual liberation still lacks recognition of female freedom
Jealousy has no sex. However, true sexual liberation still lacks the recognition of female freedom. I can’t honestly say whether women are less interested in that freedom, if women really are more inclined towards monogamyto the closed couple, to fidelity, or whether instead centuries of male hegemony have led women to be prudent, not to talk about it, to hide, to fear. Julio Velasco argues that women are generally more afraid of making mistakes because for centuries they have been scolded, sometimes beaten by men for every small mistake.
Aldo Cazzullo (photo by Carlo Furgeri Gilbert)
Does the same logic also apply in love? Certain tones of disapproval were heard precisely at the death of Brigitte Bardot, defined as a “maneater”. But what’s wrong with having three boyfriends, as De Crescenzo suggested to the young actress? It can be a wrong choice, anxiety-inducing, disrespectful of other people’s feelings. But it is still a free choice. And freedom should apply to everyone.
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All articles by Aldo Cazzullo.