Thilo Mischke talks about the shitstorm, his suicide attempt and the fight back to life.
What happens when a celebrated journalist becomes an enemy overnight? Thilo Mischke, known for his reports and TV documentaries, talks about his crisis. And about the moment in which he no longer wanted to live.
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In 2024, the reporter was at the center of a media storm. After the announcement that he would take over the traditional ARD program “ttt – titel, thesen, temperamente”, the tide turned. Text passages from his book “Around the World in 80 Women” were picked out and (rightly) interpreted as misogynistic.
Within a few days the mood changed. What was planned as a career move ended in an unprecedented shitstorm. Mischke spoke of the role prose he had taken in his book, but the verdict was in.
“I just wanted everything to stop”
The “Hotel Matze” podcast is a protected space for fallen (former) stars in which their stories are accepted without reservation. Empowerment is the motto – this means that the format has created a unique position for itself that journalistic formats would not compete for. After Mischke’s experiences in the shitstorm, an appearance on an encouragement podcast might be a good idea. In the conversation, Mischke describes how deeply the public hatred affected him. “On December 26th I tried to kill myself,” he says. “I wanted to die to escape this situation.” After the ARD cancellation, he no longer saw any prospects, no future. “You are publicly branded, you become a symbol of something you never wanted to be.”
His family also collapsed under the pressure. “My mother is broken. Still,” says Mischke. She could hardly bear to see her son suffering so much. Tears, despair, helplessness. All of this shaped the weeks after the scandal.
Panic attacks, insomnia and fear of death
Panic attacks, sleep disorders, total exhaustion. “I was afraid to even leave the house,” said Mischke. The fear of being attacked again in public almost paralyzed him. Even interviews or public statements were impossible.
Looking back, the journalist realizes how destructive the digital pillory can be. “The public forgets that there is a person behind it,” he says. “I wasn’t a headline. I was a person who collapsed.”
A new beginning after the crash
Today, almost a year after the crash, Mischke wants to look ahead cautiously. The depression hasn’t gone away. But he found ways to live with them. “I learned to get help,” he says. Friends, therapy. And finally the slow way back to the camera.
Thilo Mischke is once again filming his reports about war, drugs, power and society for ProSieben. As he says, with a new mindset: “I now know what people can endure – and what can destroy them.”