Per a couple, The first holiday together is a test benchuseless to turn too much around. Not only because it is a moment full of expectations but because they will spend a few days together, 24 hours a day, knowing the other person really well, in all his habits. What if you don’t feel good? What if you are too long in silence? Not to mention sex. Calm. Five expert advice to keep in mind before and during the trip.
Couple, first holiday together: the emotional load
The first time you never forget. Also as regards the holidays. Fundamental moment in a relationship, The holiday allows you to understand a couple as much as you are actually in connection: «This happens because, generally, the holiday represents The first moment in which most of the time is spent together for a prolonged period. It is one thing to see for a few hours only on the weekends, another to spend most of the time together for a period of several days »explains the Dr. Eugenio Mamo, Piscologist, Sexologist and Clinical Psychologist.
However, the unexpected can be around the corner, as well as the misunderstanding, which can undermine the success of the moment. So here are 5 expert advice to keep in mind.
1. Communication is fundamental, both before and during the trip
Although even a bent silence says a lot, it is still Well communicate verbally, especially the early days. This is even when organizing the trip: Talking about your expectations, where you want to go and the type of holiday you have in mind is essential. «Art Markman studies, professor of psychology at the University of Austin, Texas, show that Share expectations improves relational quality. Often, for example, it is important to immediately clarify the budget available for the trip and how much you are willing to spend on the various activities. Although the money is not everything, it is an important element in relationships and being able to talk about it openly is essential to find the right compromise, an essential element for any journey and successful relationship ». In short, Making a sincere conversation is essential to avoid future quarrels.
2. Sex yes but without anxiety
In general, Sex is fundamental in a coupleand the holiday is the ideal time to experience and get to know each other better, thanks to having more time available. But it must not be an obsession.
«In this case too, It may be useful to speak in advance what is expected from sexuality on vacation. A week of boiling sex or a break relaxed by routine rhythms? Talking about it without embarrassment can be useful. However, The idea that on vacation “you have to have more sex” can become a trap. Many people feel the weight of an intimacy that should be spontaneous, but that it becomes almost a duty. In addition, several unexpected events may incur the physical side (such as pains, inflammations or states of malaise not related to sexuality) that can make relationships less attractive. Difficulties related to the emotional aspects of novelty may arise: sometimes an accommodation that does not guarantee the right feeling of intimacy, or even simply the fact of finding themselves in a bed that is not one’s own, can considerably inhibit sexual desire ».
3. Relax, the keyword
Precisely because you are on vacation, relaxing is essential. Instead of obsessed with sex, why not work on complicitymaybe for example laughing more? Or taking a bath or massage together? The desire, especially the female one, was born when there is a connection and when the body is relaxed. In addition, this can also be the new moment to experience something new, perhaps even with the sex toys.
4. A little solitude is good
Read, go for a walk alone, take a nap. They are not only relaxing but above all taking place on their own. Keeping their spaces in a couple is fundamental, especially on vacation, when the time spent together is a lot: «It is not the amount of time spent together to determine the satisfaction of the couple, but the quality of those moments. Talking openly about your needs, leaving room for flexibility and not dramatizing any differences helps to live the journey with greater serenity and complicity ».
5. And if an unexpected happens, laugh on it!
«According to John Gottman, emeritus professor of the University of Washington, specialized on the predictive factors of divorce and marriage stability, A fundamental element for a successful couple is “to build a positive narrative of the relationship”. The long -lived couples are those that manage to transform difficult moments into shared stories. A navigation error can become the discovery of a wonderful place. A quarrel, the opportunity to understand how to reconcile yourself ». That is to say, Learn to transform an unexpected in a laugh Or in a fundamental moment in his own story it is fundamental. To lie down and join more.