«Ci are Moments in which I think I can change the world. I sleep three hours, I create a thousand things, I feel invincible: full of ideas, energy, enthusiasm. Then comes the collapse. Darkness. I don’t want to eat, talk, not even get out of bed. The body empties, the mind turns off. And I am ashamed. Even just to exist ». Chiara Ferri is 44 years old and from twelve lives with the bipolar disorder.
A disease that is not seen, but that disintegrates daily life, affects work, relationships and the ability to manage even the simplest activities.
“Bipolar disorder is one severe psychiatric condition, chronic and complex “ explains Antonio Buonanno, psychiatrist, health director of the Samadi Psychiatric Residential Structure of Rome and President of the Psychoanalytic Center of Rome. «The different types are united by a Continuous swing between two emotional poles: On the one hand the depressionwho slows down everything, empty thoughts, turns off the desire; on the other, the maniaan euphoric explosion that can lead to sleepless nights, compulsive expenses, impulsive decisions, uninhibited sexual behaviors “. Between these two extremes there is also hypomania: more soft, more ambiguous, often exchanged for simple enthusiasmbut no less destabilizing.
Bipolar disorder firsthand
Beyond the words of the clinic, they intertwine fragile and tenacious livesmarked by a daily struggle. There are those who cannot even name that disorder, and those who, on the other hand, choose to tell it firsthand. This is the case of Alessandra Arachisignature of the Corriere della Sera, who retraced his experience in the Memoir Moonful. History of a bipolar mind (Solferino, 2025).
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A book that digs in body and in the mind of those who live with this condition, and in the social stigma who often accompanies it. «Writing about bipolar disorder that overwhelmed me twenty -five years ago was an act of personal truth and collective responsibility. Because I know what it means to feel alone, wrong, without a voice. And I know how much the difference can make know that someone else has passed us and found A way to stand up ».
Blinding lights, deep darkness
Bipolar disorder It is not a simple sadness or an innocual exuberance: It is a wave that raises and overwhelms. Thought runs or blocks, The body explodes with energy or turns off. There are those who cross these phases several times a year, who instead remains trapped for months. And then there are moments – days, sometimes hours – in which the opposites overlap. «Sudden laughs and desperate tears at the same instant: it is the phase of mixed statesthe most dangerous »warns Buonanno. “That’s where the suicidal impulse can emerge. About 20 percent of patients with bipolar disorder die of suicide (one in five), a risk up to 30 times higher compared to the general population “. In the most serious cases, they can also appear Psychotic symptoms: voices, delusions, fractures in the perception of reality.
«A person suffering from bipolar disorder He arrives at the psychotic delusion Like a cocaineomaniac That sniffs the white powder, “says Arachi. «To understand it, imagine being in a state of maximum tension: the body produces adrenaline, You feel invincible, you don’t feel effort. In a healthy person, after the effort the collapse arrives: sleep, recover. In bipolar disorder, however, that thrust does not stop. I drove for twelve thousand kilometers in a month, sleeping at times in the motorbike pitches. I don’t feel sleep. I don’t feel tired. Until my body, one afternoon, while I was in the editorial office, gave way. It was 2000, from there the descent started: Hospitalization in the clinic, the suicide attempt, the coma. But also my ascent ».
Because bipolar disorder can arise
«According to the World Health Organization, the Bipolar disorder affects 1-2 percent of the adult population. Men and women in equal measure »explains Buonanno.” But in women the depressive phases tend to be more frequent, more silent. And often liquidated as tiredness, fragility, or whim ». There is no unique cause of the disorder, but there are factors that can contribute to its development: having a family member with the same diagnosis (even if we do not speak of direct heredity, that is, we do not transmit directly from parents to their children); the use of alcohol or drugs, Some physical pathologies and chronic sleep disorders, psycho-emotional trauma (such as separations or mourning).
The debut often takes place around twenty years, but frequently The restlessness is read as a rebellion, apathy as a simple stress. In other cases it emerges later, after a significant eventlike a pregnancy or a personal crisis. The hormones – from the menstrual cycle to menopause – can amplify or trigger the symptoms. «For years they told me I was just too sensitive. Then I became a mother, and something broke »says Myriam, 42 years old, who received the diagnosis After the second birth. In the elderly, however, the disorder is often confused with senile depression or with the first signs of dementia.
The difficult diagnosis
Only 30 percent of patients receive a correct diagnosis within the first year. «Depression is more easily recognized, But it is the euphoria that deceives “explains the psychiatrist. “Who is in the hypomaniacal phase it may seem bright, creative, very active. Just this energy can mask the disorder ». Diagnosis, however, is not a condemnation. «It is not healed, but it can be cured. And above all, you can learn to live with us »reassures. “With the right therapy, the symptoms attenuate, the mood stabilizes, life finds a rhythm”.
To get there you need alliances: «Stabilizing drugs of the mood that keep chaos at bay, one psychotherapy That accompanies without haste, the kind force of regularity – sleep, eat, create simple habits ». And then the distance: from what hurts – Alcohol, drugs, toxic relationships. And the closeness: to those who know how to accompany without judgment.
«Today I can say I have fallen from thatemotional swing “ Tell Arachi. “A good psychiatrist led me. And saved me the psychoeducation: I learned to recognize signals before they explode, a prevent collapsesto contain them when they arrive. It’s not easy. But it is possible ».
Work, dignity
In his book, the journalist also tells the Back to Corriere della Seraafter hospitalization. «I resumed the job exactly where I had left it. Nobody has ever made me feel different. Today I feel I can say: “I go to the psychiatrist”, as others say they go to the dentist “. An almost exceptional case. Because too often, after a psychiatric diagnosis, you find yourself dealing with another type of discomfort: stigma and exclusion. Yet the cure really begins only when you return to being seen: not as sick, but as people.
But why this happens, they serve places that return dignity And possibility. Like the “Club House” of the Ithaca project, active in eleven Italian cities: daytime, non -healthcare facilities, in which people aged between 20 and 45 with psychic discomfort participate in Laboratories and activities to reconstruct trust, autonomy, significant relationships. Even people close to those suffering – parents, partners, children, friends – can count on car groups mutual help e accompanying pathsactivated by the Italian Bipolar Association, the Giulia and Matteo Association and the Minerva Association of Padua.
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