What if an apparent loving relationship turns into control, manipulation, stalking and even violence against a woman? Visitors could today in Assen on the Koopmansplein in a so -called truck cinema the psychological thriller It’s up to me to see. The special cinema is an initiative of Wim Hertgers. Together with his wife Monique, he fights against femicide after the murder of their daughter Sanne in 2023.
Femicide, also known as women’s murder, is deliberately killing a woman because she is a woman. Often committed by a (former) partner, because of control or a sense of humiliation. The structure is often recognizable. It is not a sudden eruption, but a process that often starts in earlier relationships of the perpetrator.
Control, coercion, jealousy and violence build up and eventually lead to a disaster. Veilig Thuis, Police, the municipality of Assen and Vaart en Welzijn today talked to visitors about femicide and recognizing those signals.
For Lilian Bruns it is a recognizable story. “Last year our oldest daughter came home with a boyfriend. He checked her and told her that he would do something if she made it. Everything in me said:” Child, you have to get rid of “.” That also happened, but Bruns has been alert since then.
The film also evokes emotions for Ireen van der Klok. “Even though it is about fifteen years ago, I recognize it. I was about stalking, threat and violence by an ex-partner.”
On average, a woman is killed by her (former) partner in the Netherlands every eight days. Since 2024, the Public Prosecution Service (OM) keeps track of how many women fall victim to domestic violence and femicide. In total there were 24 women’s murders and 49 attempts in last year. “The figures are poignant: no less than 60 percent of all women’s murders are committed by someone with whom they have or have had a relationship. For men, that percentage is only 4 percent,” said Debby Homans of the OM.
Several women Drenthe were killed last year by their (former) partner. The most recent business was in October 2024, with a family from Schoonebeek. At a childcare in Hardenberg, Tonnie (53) was stabbed to death by her ex, who could not accept that the relationship was over.
It is not the first time that the municipality of Assen has paid attention to femicide. For example, 86 red shoes were placed on the same square last year. Each pair of shoes stood for a femicide.
Mayor Marco Out then received a pamphlet with action points, including offering more protection. Auxiliary agencies were also asked to improve mutual exchange of information and cooperation. “You need a long breath,” Ireen van der Klok agrees. “After each incident you have to go to the police again. Report again. Make a report again. It took a year and a half before intervention was taken.”
“We are still busy with it,” adds alderman Jan Broekema (SP). “We are creating a hotline for femicide. We do this together with authorities such as Veilig Thuis and Police. Other parties can also exchange knowledge.”
According to Broekema it is not going fast enough. “There are still, even in Assen, women are killed. Every woman is a mother, a daughter, a friend. Part of our society.”
Veilig Thuis focuses primarily on the younger generation when preventing femicide. “We have developed a teaching package for the youth. Because with them you want to start,” explains Joke Slagter. “How do boys talk about girls and is that normal? If you can pick up signals at an early stage you can do a lot.”