Dwhen he came out on Netflix, on March 13, 2025, Adolescence It is first in the ranking of the most watched television series on the platform. The story tells a crime between very young people in Great Britain, the despair of parentsand the misunderstanding between generations never as distant as now. At the same time, the beautiful film Nineteen By Giovanni Tortorici (released in February at the cinema, produced by Luca Guadagnino and set between Palermo, London and Siena) tells the events of a contemporary teenagers who overlooks the world of adults, with a poetic and poignant disorientation. In both cases, the communicative gap between adults and teenagers. With a question never resolved: how does the brain of a teenager work today? This is also the Italian title of a book published by Salani publisherwritten by the Spanish neuropsychologist and psychotherapist Álvaro Bilbao.
Understand (at least a little) the world of modern teenagers
How the brain of a teenager works He came out in Spain in 2024 with the original title Prepare Para la vida. Divided into seven parts by 15 chapters, it immediately clarifies a key point in the preface.
In the family relationship, when children grow up, a Change of role of parents. From inseparable companions of the first life experiences, with the transformation of adolescence Mom and dad also change the skin. And they become (or should become) a constant but more discreet presence. “A safe port they can return to when they are sad or worried” Bilbao writes. Of the wise figures, which help the teenager to learn to know himself and expand your own as possible emotional vocabulary.
The cover of the book how the brain of a teenager works. (Salani Editore)
In fact, to name emotions is the first step to manage them better. In a complex era in which social media, sleep disorders, difficulties in interactions create chronic stress that must be contained as much as possible. In this parenting educational manual, useful for all the children’s reference figures, they are found Anecdotes, stories and metaphors To read also if you want together. Effective ideas of reflection on some crucial aspects of the life in societywhich becomes more pleasant when lending itself I listen to their deepest reactions. That’s why it is important to get used to – and get your loved ones to get used to – ad approaching people and situations that make you feel good. And when things are particularly difficult or do not go as expected, we teach to have the courage to love yourself. Why “It is never too late to change course when we feel that we are not in the right place to us”.
Iodonna’s interview with the author Álvaro Bilbao
Has adolescent discomfort grew or has social awareness only increased on the problem?
The priority is not to create a discomfort, do not make him feel judged (Getty Images)
As a parent must behave in front of one Défaillance of the son?
The suffering is normal, the important thing is to have empathy and make children understand that they don’t have to get hurt in front of a mistake or a relational disappointment. They must learn to rely on their emotions. And to wonder, for example, how they feel after they spend time with a person. If it is right to see it more, or put some stakes.
Is there a “right” way to speak to children?
Communication works if it is two -way. If I parent I tell an episode that happened to me as a young man or to work, it is likely that the teenager tells me about him/her. Another strategy is walk on the side. If you talk to the teenagers De Visu Looking at it frontally, it is perceived as an interrogation. Go out to walk together, perhaps with the dog, helps him to open himself instead.
Finally, when the boy or girl spontaneously tell us, we must impose ourselves not to react with anger or fear. There priority is not to create a discomfort, do not make him feel judged. Later we will try to help him with the facts. A phrase that I often use when they take me on the counterattack is: “I understand you”. This allows me to earn time. And to better understand, in the studio we use the Method, however. The therapist begins the phrase: “I have a friend who speaks to me incorrectly, however …” and the teenager completes it at his leisure (however I could tell him to stop, however I have other friends, etc.). But it is also important that teenagers see our genuine reaction. For example, we could say “I don’t like your friend like this” or “I don’t like it that you were on the computer all afternoon”. It is right to say, with grace, how we adults feel. And if the ways have not been the most suitable, We can repair by apologize.
When to go to the psychologist?
And it is equally important note the first changes. Is it unusually silent? Does it lack respect and make us feel uncomfortable? THE parents must use the limits, insisting to arrive at a sort of agreement. Each situation is in itself but, to lead him from a specialist, an example of dialogue could be: “If until next week we continue to have clashes, then we will go together from a psychologist.”
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