Youp van ‘t Hek finds it a clear cry of despair by Heleen van Royen to put himself in the shop window on some spicy payment platform. “My advice is: gets tidy.”
There was a time when people were still looking up of the crazy antics of Heleen van Royen, but in the meantime we have seen everything in 2025. The fact that she is now looking for salvation at a kind of only fans platform at the age of sixties therefore does not feel exciting or innovative, but especially as a desperate attempt to remain relevant.
Neat
The shock is gone, the surprise disappeared and Heleen looks surprised that people don’t like her anymore. After fierce criticism from Angela de Jong and Tina Nijkamp, she also gets a very bright Youp van ‘t Hek over her.
Youp also looked at the excerpt in which Heleen gives her host Johnny de Mol a lifelong subscription to her naughty internet corner. “Elderly artists are pathetic,” he writes in the NRC column. “My advice is: gets tidy.”
A few tens
Heleen is such a sad artist, he thinks. “This bestseller gun has chosen to undress for a few tens on some pathetic internet site for illiterate H ** Renlopers on her old age.”
He continues: “There she first gets rid of her mobility scooter, then from her walker and when there are customers, she pulls out her shoes for two euros per person.”
Pity
Oops, Youp is clearly inexorable. “Maybe there are lovely people who want to pay money when she picks up something again. Out of ideas. But Heleen is so neat to dance softly on her own grave and to defend alone.”
Unlike Gordon, he wants to say that. Anyway: it is clear again that Heleen has lost all impact. She hoped for a stir, but gets no further than a collective sigh …