‘Women should stand up more for their pleasure’

‘Twenty-five years ago, if you entered a sex shop, you entered a shadowy room where 80 percent of the offerings were those white fake penises with veins on them, made of cheap rubber. Men bought one for their wives to spice things up in the bedroom, not knowing such a thing would never fit her. Let alone that she would be waiting for it. Fortunately, a lot has changed in the meantime.

“Since the turn of the century I have tested about 1,300 sex toys: one thousand vibrating, one hundred and fifty dildos, one hundred couples toys and the rest accessories such as handcuffs and lubricant.

“I post the reviews on my site, Climaximaal.nl. Of the toys I tested, I found about fifty worth an 8+. Of about twenty I thought: they can always be in my bedside table. The rest I didn’t find particularly special or even severely below average. Worst of all were the maximalist ‘fairground’ vibrators from around 2000, with spinning balls, lights, sounds and sometimes even a water reservoir that you could squeeze.

“What you see is that designers have taken much more account of the female anatomy in the last ten years. The emphasis is on clitoral stimulation. Furthermore, the aesthetics have changed: the vibrators and dildos look less like penises and more like streamlined design objects in cheerful colors. You also see that toy manufacturers are becoming more inclusive. For example, there are now special lines for trans people. I try to be that way in the language of my reviews. Then I write that a toy is for women and for other ‘people with a clitoris’, is like trans men who are not yet in transition.

A good end

“What makes a sex toy good is safety first and foremost. By that I mean the material: 100 percent silicone, glass, metal, or wood that has been treated with a special varnish. Other than that, almost everything is bad. Porous, synthetic materials, such as cheap rubber, can leave tiny bits in your body or melt in the sun. It is also a red flag if you cannot clean a toy properly, which can cause mold. For an anal toy, a good end is important, so that it cannot shoot inside.

“My personal favorite is a stainless steel dildo that can be used by all genders. On one side is a ball that stimulates the g-spot, on the other side is a prostate stimulator. It is also suitable for use with your partner. Because it’s a bit heavier, you prevent your partner from ragging it up and down – which can be the tendency with men. Anyway, I am convinced that if everyone used this dildo, there would be no more war and the world would be a better place.

“I also really like vibrators with air pressure stimulation: you place the nozzle of the vibrator over your clitoris, which creates a small amount of air pressure. Then the orgasm is really sucked out of you. Company Womanizer invented this technique, in 2014, which was revolutionary at the time. It has been copied and overtaken by the much cheaper Satisfyer, which you can buy for 40 euros, the Womanizer costs 200 euros.

Some men are jealous because they can’t make their penis vibrate like a vibrator

Chantal van den Heuvel

“Actually, I fell into this profession by accident. In the early 2000s it was not yet customary for a woman to write openly about sex, which I already did. For example, I published in the surf, skate and snowboard magazine Reload, which no longer exists, an article about my experiences with internet dating. This was noticed by an editor of the Foxy, a magazine for truck drivers. They then asked me to test toys for them, ten every month. I also started blogging about it, the internet was still in its infancy. I haven’t stopped doing that.

“In any case, I was there early on, with sex and sexuality. It was talked about normally at home. When I was fourteen I had my first boyfriend and in my twenties I worked as a hostess at the Kamasutra fair. As far as my work is concerned, I have very little shame, I don’t care what people think of it. As long as you don’t disturb anyone else with it, you should do what you feel like, I’m not surprised by a fetish.

“The freedom and joy of my young years, that’s what I sometimes miss now. I was topless at Zandvoort, now people are surprised. Anyway, those were different times. It was the tail end of the heyday of magazines. I earned tons of money, my rent was 100 guilders. I lived in Amsterdam and danced in clubs like the Roxy on the weekends, experimented with powders, pills and booze. My roommate was gay. He had sex with all nationalities, I with all professions – that was the vibe.

Photo Annabel Oosteweeghel
Photo Annabel Oosteweeghel
Photos Annabel Oosteweeghel

Shadowbanned

“It has become a lot more prudish in the last six years or so because of American social media companies. If you make sexual content, it’s very difficult to promote it. I’m hard to find, on Instagram and Facebook, I guess I am shadowbanned [door het algoritme buiten spel worden gezet], which is why my follower count is growing very slowly. I can get so pissed off when people bow to censorship. That they segguality write, instead of sexuality, so as not to sink into the algorithm. I verdict it. What the hell are we doing, I think. I post pictures of vibrators, it’s not like I’m showing people fucking or violence. Sexuality is part of life.


“My revenue model is affiliate marketing, which I started two years after starting my blog. I get sex toys sent home, write a review about it and place an order link at the bottom. I get a commission for every copy sold. I can pay my rent and energy bill with it. I also sell dreamcatchers and do graphic design jobs.

“Some men get jealous because their female partner has a dildo. Or because they can’t make their penis vibrate like a vibrator. But if you use it together, you can take away that jealousy. Squeaky men, they’re not horny.

Numb

“There is also criticism from people involved in spirituality, for example in the field of tantra, where it is said that vibrators numb the clitoris. After 1,300 toys I can tell you: that’s not true. I can get angry about that. For many women it is already difficult to have an orgasm, and then someone with an incense stick will say that the solution is wrong.

“I think women should stand up more for their pleasure. Toys make it more fun for everyone. Life is too short not to do things like this. If you don’t like it, you know that too.”


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