This week it is the Week of Lovean annual theme week sexual education for young people in high school (not to be confused with the Week of the spring jitters In March, intended for children in primary school).
Sex education is still needed, say the initiators (STD AIDS Netherlands, Rutgers and the GGD): Not only does the use of contraception include condoms and the number of STDs, also experienced girls still experienced “significantly less sexual pleasure than guys” During sex, it turned out last year From the research Sex under the age of 25 from Rutgers and STD AIDS Netherlands.
Sex education in high school focuses primarily on preventing pregnancies and STDs; Things like pleasure and the female orgasm are hardly mentioned. And although the most used teaching package (long live Love) is adjusted in this area, it will certainly take until 2026 before it becomes available, it turned out when inquiring.
Books and websites that treat these aspects of sexuality, preferably in a language that appeals to young people, such as, such as Sense.info,, ” pubergids.nl And the movies of the sex sisters (On YouTube). NRC Looked at some recently published books about sex education especially for adolescents.
Everything that lives with adolescents
The revised version of The adolescent bookHandy and attractively illustrated, deals with the entire range of things in puble lives: pimples, arguing with parents, falling in love, bullying. With a lot of attention to sexuality. Nice and handy is the ‘Course Kissen for Beginners’ course, as well as the ‘condom lessons’.
Also a lot of useful explanation about communicating and respecting limits and indicating: “Even if it is at a time when the other person says that you are not allowed to withdraw now, you don’t have to worry about it. No is no and you determine your own limit. “
The book does not turn anywhere and is written in a style accessible to teenagers. It can give them a helping hand on numerous fronts.
The ‘first time’ is rarely perfect
Published last year Have you already done it? Real stories about the first time sex. The makers interviewed seventeen people who talk frankly about their first experience. This leads to detailed reports of the most diverse situations. Wrong expectations patterns. Uncertainties. The body that doesn’t do what it should do. Falling in love with someone of the same sex. The other who went beyond borders. But also enthusiastic stories about how beautiful or special was the first time.
The book can temper incorrect expectations in advance, and hopefully the sometimes paralyzing uncertainty about how you are going to make it to dampen it. Because almost everyone is struggling in that initial phase; It is really only a few to experience a ‘perfect’ first time.
The design and layout of the book has been well thought out. Each story is concluded with concrete advice and useful information written by GZ psychologist and sexologist NVVS Susan ter Horst-van de Wetering.
Co-author Maja Wannet made attractive readable stories from the interviews. And although everything is named without any restraint, it never becomes banal. Rather beautiful, because it refers to the uncertainty of the boy or girl in question: is my penis not too small, I will lose blood when he comes to me for the first time, I don’t want to be shaken because I also pee there , and so forth. Ask, in short, that you do not quickly put to your parents.
It is clearly explained how it ‘works’ for girls: “The clitoris plays the leading role in the female pleasure. Nice to know: the only function of the clitoris is pleasure. ” And: “Know that it is completely normal for women not to come during Penis-in-Vaginasex.” The latter even applies to three -quarters of all women, from young to old.
In the part about masturbation, only information about how girls can also masturbate than only with their own hand – which does not lead to a peak for everyone. It is also remarkable that the morning-after pill in the book is missing.
The beautiful illustrations are worth mentioning. Together with the stories and information, an uncertain teenager probably reads this in one go.
Girls: Know your own body
You could wish for all the guys to FOREBOOK FOR POWER GIRLS received a gift. It would probably prevent a lot of suffering. The introduction emphasizes how important it is that as a girl you are your ‘man’, so ‘a’ power girl ‘.
First we dive into the inner world of adolescent girls. It is clearly analyzed why they feel so often insecure, partly caused by the distorted image of all those ‘beautiful’ and ‘happy’ people on TV or social media. Try, even though it is logical to want to belong to something, to stay yourself, is the message. Self -confidence is needed for that, followed by tips to work on it. The logical sequence of touching themes is a common thread in this book.
Only in chapter three do we come to the physical event. Very clearly everything is discussed ‘from below’, because: ‘The sooner you know what you look like, how it feels and what it is all good for, the easier for you to talk about it, enjoy it , take good care of it. ” The usefulness of outer lips (never speak of ‘labia’ again, say the authors), the phenomenon of ‘design vulvas’, where the inner lips are sometimes made more operatively because it would ‘hear’ that; And also very nice is the page with drawn ‘real’ vulvas, all different from each other.
The parts about discharge are valuable, about a stubborn myth (“The hymen does not exist!”) And facts like this: “With porn you sometimes see that people put the whole penis in their mouths. If you did, you will notice that you have to gag automatically. But the porn actors have tricks how they can prevent that and have practiced for a long time. ”
Everything that may be essential knowledge is reviewed. About the ‘G-place’, which is not nearly pleasant for all women to touch. About solo sex – where it is also mentioned that you can also use something else if your fingers fails.
For boys ‘fucking is exactly what they need’ and still the most used method during intercourse. “It is therefore not surprising that the number 1 complaint of girls is that they do not get orgasm when making love with a boy.” If both parties know that the clitoris is needed for an orgasm, there is much more to enjoy for girls.
Moreover, making love is only nice if you are already very excited. Do not go too early to the deed, just because he already has an erection. Remember: “A boy who is not excited enough has no stiff and therefore cannot fuck. Then why should you be able to do that if you are not excited enough? ” Logical maybe, but we read, research shows that about 20 percent of young girls have pain during penetration sex, and that most of them do not stop in such a case. While that pain “really needs to be an alarm signal.”
Another chapter about Borders will follow – how do you do that? And if you have done something or have it done that you don’t feel comfortable with afterwards? The book also provides useful advice for this. At the back follows an extensive overview with books, YouTube videos, websites and telephone numbers.
Authors Sanderijn van der Doef and the late Ellen Laan (1962-2022) have with FOREBOOK FOR POWER GIRLS a standard work delivered. There are probably many women who think: this book was only published forty years earlier.
Honest questions from young people
This week appeared Sex Peditionwritten by two young psychologists. The starting point is the ‘fairest, nicest and most frequently asked’ questions (‘Can a dentist or ortho notice whether you have had oral sex?’) Of young people during the sexual education in schools they gave. 171 Questions, grouped in chapters such as’ How the F*ck works it ‘,’ Yes, delicious! No, I don’t want this. And everything in between ‘and’ steam course soavrij sexen ‘. Everything is answered frankly.
There is a lot of attention for consent and cross -border behavior, including concrete ways to say ‘no’ and useful tips for the first time dating with a stranger, and about gender identity and queer.
Uncertainty about the first time, one’s own body, period, contraception (including morning-after pill), it is all covered, as well as going out of a relationship and how you can deal with it. What young people will probably also appeal to is the language (for example, something is ‘awkward’).
The image could have received more attention; The somewhat scanty illustrations about the book are funny atmospheric elements, but the detailed drawings with explanation are only completely in the back. The book follows the current spirit of the times and tries to avoid ‘he’ and ‘she’ as much as possible. The texts are by no means less readable, but the framework with justification why somewhere still has to be spoken about boys and girls does a bit cramped.