“Stit on New Year’s Eve, sex all year round” is one of those stock phrases that we repeat periodically as December 31st approaches. And precisely by virtue of this saying There are those who approach New Year’s Eve with very high expectationsoften unrealistic. But what is the truth, if any, behind this saying? We asked the Doctor Marinella Cozzolinopsychotherapist and clinical sexologist.
Sex on New Year’s Eve: can it trigger positive thinking?
«They exist lots of stock phrases that are meant to be superstitious and convenient. An example is “just thinking”. But that’s not true, action is needed. Even in this case wishing alone is not enough. Nevertheless Wishing yourself something beautiful can trigger positive thinking. Let’s start from the assumption that we don’t believe in the horoscope. Yet, if in the morning you happen to read that the stars predict big surprises for the day, this will help you live as best as possible and with greater carefreeness. The same goes if you read forecasts of a bad day: your instinct will be to get back into bed. “Sex on New Year’s Eve, sex all year round” it is the wish you make for yourself to have a beautiful and fulfilling sexual life. On New Year’s Eve as for the rest of the year. It’s superstition. But so be it”, jokes Doctor Cozzolino.
Sex as fun
«New Year’s Eve, in the collective imagination, is the longest night of the year, the one in which having fun is almost an obligation. AND entertainment for adults usually equates to sex. Here’s why we hope to start the year with the possibility of feeling desired by the otherto feel the other’s eyes on you, even before their hands. Capturing the desire in your partner’s eyes is a fundamental aspect that is missing when there is no sex. Being the object of his desire is empowering. After all, we all live to be desired, sexually or otherwise. From colleagues, family, children, friends: “If you’re not there, it’s not a celebration.” Starting the year with this feeling is a push that makes us find ourselves already in springhelps us overcome the darkest months of the year. It is a feeling of satisfaction, of fullness, of beauty”, continues the expert.
When reality is different from expectations
«Having sex on New Year’s Eve in reality it doesn’t happen that often for a number of reasons. Meanwhile at the dinner we eat and drink a lot, plus we come from days of parties and excess food, from longer nights than usual which, for those who are not used to sleeping little, are undoubtedly tiring. Women, especially if they are wives and mothers, must provide lunches, dinners and dinners and they arrive at New Year’s Eve decidedly tired. This can lead them to give up on sex. Especially if they don’t recognize it as part of their well-being», underlines Doctor Cozzolino.
Sex as well-being?
«In recent years the concept of well-being has changed, today more linked to removing than adding. Just like it happens with food. Our parents imagined holidays as synonymous with lots of food, which symbolized both economic and physical well-being. Today this concept is absolutely out of date. Too much food is avoided because it is bad for you, makes you fat and throws your blood levels off. THEWell-being has become avoidance of any form of commitment. I’m fine if I don’t have obligations, tasks, deadlines. Even sexual intercourse, understood as a service, becomes an obligation and therefore should be avoided. It becomes a commitment from which, during the holidays, you want to take a break. Obviously a lot depends on why two people are together. We have to like each other, there has to be chemistry. Everything else can be done with a friend, with a psychologist, with a sister. Yet 99% of people get together for reasons other than sex,” explains the expert.
Sex on New Year’s Eve: don’t expect miracles
«Sexuality on New Year’s Eve it is the result of that experienced throughout the year. Miracles don’t happen. My grandmother used to say: “You find your bed in the evening just as you left it in the morning.” In other words, “you reap what you sow”. If the extra glass of wine stimulates us, if Saturday evening intrigues us because we have no plans the next day, well we will find this complicity again on New Year’s Eve. But if it never happens, if the more time we spend together, the more we argue and if parties increase conflictsthen for sure Even on the night of December 31st you shouldn’t expect any nice surprises or headaches”, warns Doctor Cozzolino.
Non-sex as punishment
«If during the year we prefer blanket, herbal tea and sofa, we cannot expect something very different on New Year’s Eve. Yet, even people of this type, or lovers of relaxation at all costs, they have very high expectations regarding how to experience New Year’s Eve. “I would like to do something different.” But they didn’t plan anything. And at that point all they have to do is shift the responsibility onto the other. This generates great frustration and denial of sexuality. Not having sex becomes a punishment for the partner. This is a mechanism that especially concerns women. Men are easier and more toleranta woman risks not accepting the tasks of the holidays. “I have to go to your mum’s house but I wanted to go to Ibiza”. For a woman this is almost a narcissistic wound: “I’m not worth a different evening” therefore I don’t feel like doing anything. Much less sex» concludes Doctor Cozzolino.
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