TOThose who attack women are not only husbands or partners, but also their own children, with a boom in victims over 65: the data collected in the report attests this Women’s Desk at the San Camillo Hospital in Romemanaged by the social cooperative Be Free, through psychologists, social workers and counselors active 24 hours a day.
The alarming data on domestic violence committed by children
The phenomenon is constantly increasing. From the beginning of 2025, in 90% of cases domestic violence is perpetrated by children suffering from addictions, psychiatric disorders or chronic unemployment. These mothers, who deny or minimize the violence they have suffered for a long time, they arrive at the emergency room after weeks or months of physical and psychological abuse.
The testimony of Anna Tiziana Torti
As in the case of Anna Tiziana Torti who, after raising her son Lorenzo alone, filling him with love and attention, saw him become increasingly rebellious and aggressive during his adolescence. Due to bad friendships and drug abuse, about 15 years ago, he took tortuous paths that led him to turn into his mother’s tormentor.
Anna Tiziana Torti with her son Lorenzo Greco
The shared story in the book “The distance that unites us”
Today, after a long journey full of violence and guilt, with the courage and awareness that “the family survives only if both are saved”, Anna Tiziana Torti e Lorenzo Greco they tell their story in the book “The distance that unites us”, published by Mondadori, to give voice and instill hope to the many parents who experience the same drama, but are still unable to talk about it, much less react.
«It wasn’t easy at all, we retraced our experiences putting our hands between our wounds, but writing proved to be an element of unionan experience of redemption and salvation to share. Through mutual interviews, we were able to tell each other emotions that had been kept secret for a long time and we felt united like never before” says Anna Tiziana, tracing the origin of the drift was the son’s transfer from Rome to the boarding school where he was supposed to realize his dream of becoming a chef.
By enrolling him in one of the best hotel schools he believed he was ensuring him a brilliant future. He hoped that in the boarding school educators he could find male reference figuresgiven the absence of a father in his life.
Lorenzo’s blind rage
Instead, as Lorenzo says, «right from the start I took my mother’s decision badly. I thought it was a way to get away from home and enjoy her relationship with her partnerwhich I was jealous of. I didn’t feel considered and, having crossed the doors of that boarding school which for me had the appearance of a cage, to release the anger I had towards him I got involved with kids who were already using drugs».
The escalation towards drugs and crime
From the first joint the escalation towards other substances, drug dealing and crime was very rapid: «I knew it wasn’t the right path – he adds – but I believed it was the only way to show my mother that I could do it, even without her. In reality, it was a desperate cry for help.”
Like every person who suffers violence, Anna Tiziana initially believed it was a typical adolescent rebellion, of sporadic moments of anger, until verbal aggression became acts of physical violence. «I will never be able to forget the first time: I had just discovered suspicious packaging in his bag. I scolded him, shouted at him that he would never return to the boarding school, but at that moment I saw his face heat up. In his heat, he wrapped his hands around my neck and put me in a corner” he recalls.
From the denial of physical violence to reporting it to save oneself
From that moment on, the attacks were repeated frequently, but shame still prevailed in Anna Tiziana. Although, thanks to a friend who represented her lucid side in that period, it was turned to a counseling center that had put her in contact with a police inspector, she continued to postpone filing the complaint. Until the violence became extreme and obvious, after forced his son to return home to Rome: «he felt the ground crumbling beneath his feet: from the boss he had become at the boarding school, he now felt like a zerodeprived of his empire. When I ended up in the emergency room with a broken arm I couldn’t deny it any longer. At that moment time stopped, our relationship fell apart and I understood that reporting, although unnatural, was the only way to save my son» sighs.
Awareness
Lorenzo’s reaction was predictably violent: «I felt betrayed, I was driven by blind rage, I was unaware of my actions. Of those moments I only have flashes, vague flashes of memory. Only after being summoned to the police station and reading the judicial documents, I realized everything I had done» he admits.
Even the attempts at reconciliation, after the expulsion decree and the sentence, were not simple. Only after a long distance, Anna Tiziana and Lorenzo managed to find each other again in the clean slate: thus they define the place of silence and understanding from which they set off again, walking together in parallel, respecting their own spaces and boundaries.
The path of reconciliation at the right distance
«The months of separation were fundamental for understand what the right distance to apply to our relationship was, to learn to communicate with each other without worries, constraints or restrictionswith an authenticity that we had perhaps only had when he was a child” explains Anna Tiziana.
Looking back, with the current awareness shared with his son, he analyzes what he defines as his parental inadequacy: «I should have shown him more of my affection and esteem. These shortcomings made him feel insecure and unable to express his anger in words.”
The appeal to parents: “Learn to listen”
Anna Tiziana and Lorenzo, reborn thanks to the network of operators, therapists and institutions that supported them, today they live in distant neighborhoods in Rome, but they have never felt so close. In unison they throw a appeal to all parents: «learn to listen, to establish a family dialogue, otherwise the kids feel lost in this society that offers few certainties.”
«Question yourselves, don’t hide your emotions and know that behind every reproach from our mothers there is a teaching for our good» Lorenzo comments, thanking his mother once again for having loved him, even when there was nothing lovable about it.