44-year-old Vera* is the foster mother of her cousin’s three children (18, 10 and 3). A difficult task, but also a dear one. “Recently one of the boys told us that he had learned a lot with us and that he had become calmer. Then my heart opened a little. I try to make them feel at home.”
During the week of foster care, new families are made enthusiastic to take foster children into their homes. And that is badly needed, because there is a great shortage of foster families.
About nine hundred children are currently waiting for a place, almost a hundred of them come from Brabant. Every year 3,500 new foster parents are needed, but the number of registrations is decreasing every year.
Until almost two years ago, Vera, her husband and their two children (22 and almost 20) had nothing to do with foster care. That period came to an end when a cousin from Rotterdam and his family had to deal with quarrels, excessive alcohol consumption and eventually a divorce a year and a half ago.
“I immediately drove to Rotterdam to pick them up.”
“My cousin was at the police station and needed urgent help. I immediately thought of his three children, got in the car and drove to Rotterdam to pick them up.”
That was not so easy. “At the police station it was checked whether I knew the children. They immediately called my name when I entered, so it was immediately clear,” says Vera.
“The children have been with us since that time. The eldest has now turned 18 and lives in Rotterdam again. My cousin is doing well, the divorce may be pronounced soon, after which the children will go back.”
“We went back in time. That was quite difficult in the beginning.”
“Our children are adults already,” she says. “So we went back in time. In the beginning it was quite difficult. My husband and I discussed it together. We would take care of the children as long as we could and were necessary. Our children agreed,” says Vera .
According to Vera, the foster children are doing well in her family. “You notice that they feel at home. The youngest of 3 is in daycare two days a week. The boy of 10 is in primary education.” But there are also difficult moments. “They are still children. We raise them as we did with our children,” says Vera. “Explain why something is or is not possible and make agreements.”
Vera does not yet know whether she will also take in other foster children. “I did this for my cousin, and such a decision should be carefully considered. A lot is being asked of you. It is not good for children to relapse. I have great respect for foster families. Hats off.”
* The real name of Vera is known to the editors.
Would you like to know more about or are interested in foster parenting? There will be an online meeting on 8 December.