On the arm of Trudie Kissen is a colorful spring with the word ‘resilliance’ underneath, or resilience. Trudie grew up in an unsafe home situation, she was mistreated by her father for years. The tattooed ferry gave her strength back and now she helps other people with their self -confidence. “I want to show that no matter how deep you are, you always have to choose for yourself. That saved my life.”
Trudie tells it for the first time about this tattoo with special meaning. She doesn’t find that exciting. “I have always been open about what happened to me,” she says calmly. And so she continues her fierce story, she falls with her door: “I was mistreated at home by my father for a while, both psychologically and sexually.”
Even before she was born, her father made it clear to her mother that she was not welcome. “He really wanted a son. He already had three daughters and one son and no girl could do it anymore. My mother was happy with me, but during pregnancy she was terrified of my father’s reaction if I would indeed be a girl.”
“If I don’t forgive my parents, I can’t accept myself either.”
As a child, Trudie tried to protect himself in her own way: “I ate a lot, because I thought I would be unattractive for my father.” That didn’t help, and so she sought safety from her mother, but she couldn’t protect her. “She just couldn’t offer me that safety then and didn’t know how to say that, and so she said that I was appointing myself.”
When she told her sisters after years of abuse what was going on, they immediately intervened. “They started talking to my father,” says Trudie. The physical abuse stopped, but her father always showed her psychologically that she was not desired.
When he died in 2000, they contacted her mother again. “We realized that she was a victim,” Trudie looks back. “She did her best, but also had a muscle disease herself and worked hard. My father was at home and did nothing.” In 2008 her mother, in the presence of Trudie and her brother and sisters, also died: “We had eight more years.”
In therapy, Trudie learned to deal with her past. “I learned that if I can’t forgive my parents, I can’t fully accept myself. Because they’ve gave birth to me.”
“I now work every day to teach people: choose yourself, as I did.”
Trudie re -built her life, she married and had two children. But again Life struck Trudie hard in the face: her husband became addicted to alcohol and became aggressive. “It became too much for me,” says Trudie calmly. “Afterwards I think I was depressed at the time, but at that time there was no other way out.” She made a suicide attempt, but did not continue. “I was already with a hand full of pills in my hand, but I didn’t take them. I heard a voice that said,” Don’t do it. ” That voice gave me strength. ”
That event was a turning point for her: “I told my husband: kick or get out. He chose help, and that changed our lives.” Trudie also chose himself in other areas: “I worked and took care of the household and the children, but I forgot myself.” She started making more time for herself and her children immediately noticed a difference: “They said,” You are no longer so grumpy, Mom. ” That touched me enormously.
The turnaround was also the reason for her special tattoo: “It became a spring, with a small pen that Resiliance, Or resilience, writes. A spring protects, no water or wind comes through. That is what I have become because of the choices I made: I do my own thing. “
Nowadays she and her husband both help people find their self -confidence and their goal in life. “We are now a strong team with both our own qualities.” She also helps people to get themselves with sound therapy and creativity. “I would like to give people to stay true to yourself,” she says. “People have an opinion. So do what makes you happy. And believe it will get better. If I can, you can do that too.”
Talking about thoughts to suicide helps and is possible, for example, via the national helpline 113: or 0900-0113.
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