You have been hearing for years that the world is changing dramatically. But in recent weeks, even the biggest skeptics around me have been saying this. Technology, labor market, world order, climate, meaning, everything is in motion. And that leads to great uncertainty.
When uncertainty is rampant, courage is required. For example at work. But how do you arrange that? How do you become brave?
The basis of courage
George Kohlrieser is a psychologist, former hostage negotiator and professor at IMD Business School in Lausanne. One of his books, Care to Dare, written with Susan Goldsworthy and Duncan Coombe, it had been on my bookshelf for years, waiting for the right time. That came last week, when an experienced driver enthusiastically told me about it. She had seen several entrepreneurs make leaps forward thanks to the advice in this book.
Kohlrieser’s ideas revolve around the mechanism behind courage. In short, he says: you can only be brave when you have a safe base. We need people, places, causes or other things that give us a sense of protection, safety and care (care) and give us the inspiration and energy to show courage, take risks and take on new challenges (dare).
Leaders must provide this to employees. Secure base leadership that’s called. And those who lead must also look for such a secure base.
Kohlrieser’s ideas are based on attachment theory. According to this psychological approach, children, but also adults, need interaction, attention, patience and empathy, among other things. This offers them a safe base from which to explore the world.
In many work situations, this safe basis is lacking, says Kohlrieser. For example, people don’t trust their boss
In many work situations, this safe basis is lacking, says Kohlrieser. For example, people don’t trust their boss. This leads to uncertainty and stress; the brain goes into survival mode. And that undermines creativity and trying out new things.
Three building blocks
What can you do as a manager or as a good colleague? How do you create a safe base for the people around you, so that they dare more? I will mention three building blocks, based on the work of Kohlrieser and PhD research by his co-author Coombe.
1. Safety. Be a safe haven for others. How? Accept and value the other person as a person, not just as ‘a colleague’. Show that you are available and accessible. And if something goes wrong, don’t make accusations, but offer understanding and support.
2. Challenge. Encourage the other person to develop. For example, by offering opportunities, expressing your confidence and accepting risks. Set high expectations and emphasize the importance of learning and growing.
3. Resilience. Focus your attention, even in the face of setbacks, on possibilities and opportunities. That also means: staying calm in the face of problems; ask questions before drawing conclusions; and demonstrate this self-control again and again, so that you are trustworthy in the eyes of others.
Build your own safe base
Giving others courage as a leader is not easy. You also need courage yourself and therefore also your own safe bases. And where do you find it?
Kohlrieser offers various options. A strong social network, for example. Parents, partner, friends, family. And professional relationships: colleagues, mentors, coaches.
But positive experiences from your personal history can also form a ‘secure base’. Kohlrieser advises leaders to write down and reflect on crucial learning moments from their own lives. In addition, it is worth learning techniques that will help you calm yourself down in times of stress.
Care is not enough
Kohlrieser’s care to dare approach is intuitively appealing. We all want a team leader like that. But of course it is also nice when some serious research has been done into these types of ideas.
Psychologists Ofra Mayseless and Micha Popper popped up a few years ago in the relationship between attachment and leadership. Their findings fit in well with Kohlrieser’s ideas, with one addition. According to them, care alone is not enough. To truly trust a leader, employees must also see him or her as competent. That nice team leader must really be able to help us if we bravely get into trouble.
Practical
Beatrice de Graaf and Rik Peels recently wrote in this newspaper about the value of classical virtues. Courage is one of them.
What was a new insight for me: the ancient Greeks did not see virtue as an individual quality, but as a responsibility of the group. In other words: courage is something you have to work on together. How do you do that? For example, by borrowing a few ideas from Kohlrieser.
We need brave politicians, administrators, scientists and entrepreneurs at this time. And brave teachers, neighbors, journalists, farmers and colleagues. Brave parents and children.
But bravery does not come naturally. Bravery comes from creating a safe environment for each other. A working environment, for example, in which we do not measure each other up or try to put each other down, but help each other to dare new things, fail and then simply try again with good courage.
The journalistic principles of NRC
