C‘It is the school, there are homework but also the English course, sport and extra activities To keep them busy: children’s lives are now marked from tight rhythms and dense agendas of commitments. The anxiety of having to fill the days of the children with stimulating activities It is in fact a constant for almost all parents. But we are sure that This ‘frenzy’ is really necessary?
From the point of view psychopedagogicalactually the Sur-programming of childhood It involves risks, confirmed by numerous research – warns the doctor Giovanna Giacomini, pedagogist, trainer and creator of the Edu-wow.com portal.
Summer with children: the risks of over-programming
Plan children’s days such as Travel tables, for example, increases performance anxiety. «When each activity turns into a goal to be achieved, i children live everything like a performance, which generates stress and anxiety” – underlines the expert. Do not leave children the possibility of experimenting with empty time, it means then limit their creativity And hinder the development of their emotional intelligence. “They are” long times “of childhood, which allow children to get in touch with their emotions and those of others – underlines the pedagogist. – But not only that, the risk is also another: the constant need for control amplifies frustration and reduces the ability to tolerate the unexpected events. When something is wrong as expected or make a mistake, children go into difficulty. If everything is planned according to a rigid roadmap, the little ones They do not learn to orient themselves by themselves: they become less autonomous And they struggle to choose and create. The ability to be with yourself is a fundamental competence for life ».
Summer with children: the right opportunity to slow down
Here then just summer can turn into the ideal occasion to slow downto reintroduce the value of boredom, game and slow time in children’s lives. How to do it? “First of all we have to decrease scheduled activities. We do not fall into the temptation to fill every moment: we allow them to experience boredom ” – explains the pedagogist. «Adults must be informed and recognize the real value of the game. If we continue to think that playing is an activity in itself, we will hardly give you the place it deserves in everyday life. Let’s go back to playing together, even when they are bigger, finding new strategies and accepting forms of game other than those we are used to. We seek To live our time with our children, also enhancing the typical resources of this period, whether we like it or not. Unfortunately also in the educational field we observe a clear transition from the nest and the maternal where, play and slow times and boredom are valued, to compulsory school, where often these aspects are relegated to the moment of recreation, understood only as a break to recharge the energies “.
No to performance anxiety
Equally important It is trying to put aside the performance anxiety. «It has no logic to organize the holidays to the smallest details, overloading them with activities – warns Giacomini against. – Let’s try instead to call our summers as children to memory. Most likely, we will remember the fireflies that danced in the air, the bats in flight to the dusk or afternoons in the garden. Why did these details have been impressed? Why We had an abundance of “to lose” time. The dilated rhythms not only create space for imagination, but They also allow you to fix vivid memories in memory, linked to deep emotions. This memory can become a precious instrument for each parent: an alarm bell when you realize that you exaggerate with the organization. Today Children are required to follow the rhythm of the adult world, losing access to your time. But it is the adult world itself that is dysfunctional, and to have to learn again from childhood ».
Summer with children: the strategies to be put in place to ‘slow down’
For resist the pressure of the frenzy and enhance a quality timeit is then essential to adopt concrete strategies to put into practice starting from holidays, when it is easier to disconnect the plug a little. First rule: find A balance between shared momentsor activities to be done together, to strengthen family ties and create precious memories, time for autonomous game, That is, spaces in which the child can explore and play alone, developing creativity, autonomy and problem-solving, and moments of “sweet doing nothing”. Periods in which the whole family The luxury of doing nothing is granted, allowing the mind to rest and the creativity to emerge spontaneously.
The importance of creating rituals
Also create Of the disconnection rituals from everything else and connection with the family is important. “For example, it may be the moment of lunch, the walk on the seafront after dinner, A reading to be done together – suggests the pedagogist. – These small gestures, repeatedly repeated, help a Create healthy habits and to rediscover the pleasure of an authentic time, far from frenzy ».
Another strategy to be put in place? Listening. «One of the biggest challenges, and at the same time a precious opportunity, It is learning to listen without the haste to fill – underlines Giacomini. – When children speak to us, our immediate tendency is often that of intervene, offer advice, suggestions or say what to do. But it is precisely in these moments that silence can be our most powerful ally. Let’s try not to answer immediately ».
… and to leave room for boredom
And in front of the classic ‘Uffa, what a boredom!’? “In that case We resist the impulse to offer a thousand alternatives Or to immediately propose a new activity – suggests the expert. – Let the void manifests itself. Also If this can generate frustration in the child, It is essential to remain in that time unstructured as long as possible ». The ideal, then, would be to be able to report these strategies in everyday life, just like a precious souvenir to be kept. «Happiness is not a sequence of beautiful things to do, nor a world where everything is always good – concludes Giacomini. – It is a competence, it is the ability to stay in the flow of life, to live the here and now even when not everything is ideal. It is to find meaning in the present, even in the void, and knowing how to wait, recognize uncomfortable emotions and train a shiny but positive look. To cultivate this ability, a fundamental ingredient is essential: empty time ».
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