Jan Müller explains why Switzerland has the best catering and the USA has the worst catering.
The boss Rehm Rozanes has decided: After drinks played the main role in my last Reflexionr column, the focus should now be on food. And anyone who has at least had a taste of the music industry knows: food on tour is a very special topic. There are bands that follow strict diets while on tour. Others devote themselves to gluttony. They have created cash registers listing the best country restaurants not far from the motorways.
Until recently, I was unable to claim either one or the other. But I have fond memories of some culinary incidents that happened to me with my band Tocotronic and other bands I traveled with. In the first few years of our band’s career we mainly ate at motorway rest stops. We usually missed the hotel breakfast because we liked to sleep long and hard, and the food in the concert clubs usually seemed mysterious and risky to us. As a Hamburger, I was rarely offered anything familiar when I was abroad. No panfish, no labskaus and no round piece warm. Instead, lentils with spaetzle.
Ok, I ate it back in Bietigheim-Bissingen. But I liked the spaghetti Napoli at the rest stop better. In any case, wholesomeness is the most important argument for the food of game travelers. Not every delicious meal is suitable for the stage. For example, one of my favorite dishes is cheese fondue. But under no circumstances would I take it before a concert. I simply wouldn’t be ready to play anymore. Legumes, onions or any kind of cabbage are also completely unsuitable. (Especially 30 minutes before the performance.)
It occurs to me that back in 1996 we were served a Brussels sprout lasagna on platform 22 in Münster. Lasagna is wonderful. But with Brussels sprouts? I’m in favor of cultural mixing wherever possible. But it must be stated: Brussels sprout lasagna is a German perversion. However, it is only 60 kilometers from Münster to the Dutch border. It’s quite possible that Brussels sprout lasagna was invented in the Netherlands. The influence of the THC lobby has caused some culinary aberrations there anyway. Maybe someone from Platform 22 will read this column and can clarify the open questions.
Back to topic. I don’t want anyone to get the impression that I’m a picky rock musician. I’m definitely not one to have M&Ms sorted by color backstage. If you put me a roll, a few slices of cucumber and a tomato there, I’ll be completely satisfied. And I would also like to point out (for everyone who goes on tour themselves): the people who are responsible for the food in the clubs are really happy when you talk to them and then praise them appropriately if they like it.
And very important: bring your plates and cutlery to the dirty dishes station. Everything else is insolvent and just as much a no-go as putting bags and backpacks on armchairs backstage. However, I would like to assure the chefs of some live clubs here once and for all: there are no al dente potatoes! That’s a myth. Still: you’re doing a good job. And in America, bands get dumped with a packet of chips and chewing gum.
And only in the nice clubs. By the way: As soon as you go to Switzerland, you will be served catering that you can only dream of in Germany. The finest ingredients are served here by employees who all deserve a two or even three star Michelin award. The downside, however, is that it can happen to the band that the organizer forces them to eat at the same table with him and parts of the local crew. Usually at an inappropriate time precisely specified by the organizer. In the more severe version, the band is also forced to drink expensive wine with their meal. And that despite the fact that everyone knows that no band in their right mind drinks alcohol before a concert.
By the way, it always helps to tour with Americans. In the 90s we played various concerts with Tocotronic with the great band Chokebore. We observed that the brothers Jon and James were always served a special meal. It was always the same: spaghetti with tomato sauce. Intrigued, we asked her why: “We don’t want to take any risks,” was the answer. We were amused. 30 years later, I finally realized how right they were. I recently joined their concept. I have rarely felt so comfortable on stage.
