THEThe idea that we have of friendships leads us to think that the elective affinities, the communions in spirit & sword, the deep ones, must have originated in childhood or in the youth. Comrades and companions of asylum, elementary, middle school, maximum high school. Then you become big and a little more alone.
Loves take over and – often, even if less and less – marriages, then maybe the children to follow (or chase) in two. The ties without tax return, without bills and mortgages, without “Christmas with yours” – it is said – they will end up lightening and dispersing in the air that pulls.
So: either you had before them, “always”, or they will not hold the proof of routine already crowded. I was unfortunate or perhaps, in the pre-digital era, not very careful: we have, in the family, always changed the house and neighborhood. After the kindergarten, after the elementary school, after the middle school. Each time you had to start tissoring relationships again. The high school was not “in the area”, many of my companions came from outside Milan and at lunchtime I saw them disappeared towards the Nord railways. In summary, no company.
Barbara Stefanelli (photo by Carlo Vangeri Gilbert).
I could launch an appeal here to my former Banco CS partner, with whom we really score notebooks and thoughts – it happened that it has no longer been able to distinguish them – and then separate us stupidly along the university paths despite having chosen the same faculty: but now, forty years later, it would be embarrassing to find yourself without laughter or secrets.
Friendships are found, just believe it
However, what I would like to declare here, well beyond my first forty years, is that it is not true. It is not true that in later seasons you cannot find “friends for life”, life in front. You find them, you recognize them, you hold them if only you open your arms. They are “old” friends in the sense that none of us is a little girl, however, they are very young and promising as high school students.
It is not true that in adulthood you cannot find “friends for life” (Photo Getty Images).
They understand what mood you are from how you enter the room, they listen to you with not simulated interest and update you with confidence on them, they give good advice – the best on the square – from the haircut down. The problem is that we do not believe it to the end. We do not believe that with them, that is, with “us”, we could start again: to design a start -up or to turn a documentary, to travel or take refuge at Terme di Abanoto go to Balera a fixed evening, every week, not on special and trumpeted occasions so that everyone around know it.
I now have a company. Not just a chat. Precisely “a commonplace”, one of ours, against all the commonplaces according to which, after a certain age, if you go well you can aspire to multiply the acquaintances and only if you commit a lot. It was easy, however.
The error is now staying on the threshold of an unexpected sentimental possibilitycomforted yes but uncertain, until we come off behind the things of before. Those of all time. Recurrences and customs, badges and bouquets of keys, thermometers and screwdrivers.
In your life what does friendship have today? Write us to [email protected]
All articles by Barbara Stefanelli
I woman © RESERVED REPRODUCTION