When I was 14 years old they opened a bar called Tiza in my town, Ejea de los Caballeros. My parents wouldn’t let me go arguing that there they would give me candies with drugs. It was the 80s. Like all teenagers, I had a role in life: to be against the rules, to be critical and to gain autonomy. Now, at my age, I know that all of this is necessary for a correct development.
My friends used to go to Tiza. And me, when I left home, I took a detour to mislead my parents and also ended up in the bar. Have I ever been offered drug-laced candy? No. Would I have taken them if they had been offered to me? I do not know. I knew that was not right, but the decision was mine. I have never taken illegal drugs in my life.
So that a teenager does not have risk behaviors, there are protective factors: limits, norms, communication, good family relationship, knowing their friends and mldr; What is not a protective factor is monitoring my son with a GPS. A father or a mother can do it, but the boy or girl can always divert the phone or look for other strategies.
Geolocation itself can be useful and necessary for the autonomy of the child in some cases. If he is small and has to go to school alone. But we must not control. Adolescence involves making decisions. Give your child an hour back home and give him confidence. This way you will avoid watching him. One thing is to supervise, on that we all agree, and another is to control.
Children and adolescents need autonomy. Educating is also teaching them to make decisions, not constantly guiding them. They have to make decisions, those that correspond to them by age. They have to be wrong, it is very important. If not, they don’t learn. Parents cannot spend all day directing our children. You have to give them autonomy and confidence.
Don’t demonize technology which has great uses. I have an 18-year-old son who has been going out on the road since he was 15 to practice cycling. He always shares his location and we can see if he is on the move. If he stops maybe something will happen to him and we will call him. That’s making good use of technology. But my son, when he goes out at night, does not activate geolocation. Besides, I don’t want to know where he is either. I trust him. If not, he wouldn’t let him out. Why do I trust him? Because I have a good relationship, I know he is a serious guy, we know his friends. Does he tell me everything he does? Unsure. He is a teenager.
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The hypercontrol it only serves for parents to be calm but not to educate. If a father or a mother are only calm when they are locating their child, something happens in that family relationship, something is wrong.
The social networks of educational centers can also be put to good use. They are a good communication element, but they do not have to serve as a control element. It is a tool that facilitates academic activity and we have become accustomed to using it, as in other areas of life. It is a tool, not a control.