Paul: “We lived in Italy for 27 years, on a hill just outside Rome. We ended up there through my work as a film distributor at Disney and lived the ultimate life, we could say. The sun, the swimming pool, a cappuccino in the morning. Our three daughters who grew up there, five dogs around us and a huge garden where all the trees you can think of grew. Olive, banana, lemon, kiwi, figs, cherries.”
Jeanne: “That lemon tree – it grew and grew, really incredible. We had perhaps thousands of lemons a year! We made delicious limoncello from it.”
Paul: “If I could stop the clock, I would have done it. But you can’t live in nostalgia. It was time to leave. We had to leave because we received little support with Jeanne’s illness.”
Jeanne: “In Italy we didn’t know what was wrong with me. I no longer understood things, I forgot things.”
Paul: “You also felt very lonely.”
Jeanne: “That too, yes. It all felt very chaotic.”
Paul: “We were at a university hospital in Italy. There you are formally treated well, but there is little structure in the treatment of Alzheimer’s. In addition, we wanted to return to the Netherlands at some point. Then it is better to move if you are still a bit vital instead of walking behind a walker. We were looking for a house that was life-proof, in a wooded area. That was Vorden, in the Achterhoek. Here we immediately noticed the difference in care. We think it is excellent. We We have a wonderful case manager, Helen. And Jeanne goes to a day care center for people with Alzheimer’s three days a week. The love that Jeanne finds there is priceless!
Jeanne: “A bus will come and pick up people from the area here. Then we will go to the shelter.”
Everything within walking distance
Paul: “It’s called De Vijfsprong. A kind of anthroposophical farm. It’s really beautiful there.”
Jeanne: “We are close to the edge of the forest, so we walk a lot. We also do a lot of creative work. Painting, singing. It is all very friendly and accessible. I am there with other people with Alzheimer’s, but I have to say that I am still one of the best.”
Paul: “It’s nice for Jeanne that everything is within walking distance here in Vorden. She can walk the dog, go to the hairdresser or go to the center. The neighborhood knows her. They call me if she gets lost somewhere. We didn’t have that in that paradise in Italy. We lived on the mountain there and were far from everything and everyone. I cried with relief when I registered Jeanne with the health insurance last January. Then there was finally a plan B. If something happened to me happen, then at least there is care and shelter for Jeanne. That is a great relief for both of us.”
Photos Mona van den Berg
Breakfast in bed
Paul: “The day starts here at seven o’clock. Then I make coffee and bring Jeanne breakfast in bed.”
Jeanne: “He almost always does that. Very luxurious.”
Paul: “Jeanne stays in bed until eight o’clock, then we take a shower and get dressed. At half past eight it is time to take her medication, and then Jeanne often walks the dog. I have noticed that if the morning ritual goes well, then the day usually turns out well. There should not be too many choices. In Italy we had large wardrobes with a lot of clothes. That went completely wrong. Here I have four sets of clothes in different colors for Jeanne. That is clear. I am now house husband; then I want it to be organized as efficiently as possible.”
Jeanne: “I’m doing other things. He quickly wipes the countertop with a cloth. I want it polished nice and smooth.”
During the day we try to maintain the Italian rhythm
Paul: “It’s a bit different than before. I’ve always been the cook in the house, but we did the rest of the household chores together. Now I actually do everything. And that goes well. During the day we try to maintain the Italian rhythm. So we have an extensive lunch with a glass of wine and don’t eat anything for dinner. Or a piece of cheese, maximum. During the day, Jeanne goes to daycare, or we develop another activity. Shopping, to a museum, or we go to the cinema. Don’t sit at home in In any case, Jeanne always goes to bed early, at nine o’clock. She sleeps like a baby, especially if she has been to daycare.”
Jeanne: “Then I’ll be up, yes.”
Paul: “I read until eleven o’clock, preferably history books. And then I go to sleep.”
Empty bucket list
Paul: “Things are going great between us. But the care is quite intensive. Your life is reduced to the essentials. That does not mean that you are less happy. It sounds terribly cliché, but we now enjoy the little things. A nice lunch – there are excellent catering establishments in this region – or meeting up with friends. Our bucket list is empty. We no longer have to make dramatic trips. Although we do have to go out every now and then, because all three of our daughters and four grandchildren live in Australia.”
Jeanne: “How do you come up with it, huh?”
I wasted a lot of time because I was always busy with the next step
Paul: “The first daughter works for YouTube and was able to get an interesting position in Australia. The second met a handsome Australian at a concert with whom she is now together. And the third is married to an Englishman who lived in Perth in his youth. He always wanted to go back there. So now all three of them are there. Every now and then they come to the Netherlands. In May we are considering meeting each other halfway, in Thailand. Nowadays we live day by day and Jeanne has a positive nature; she takes life like she does. It is. I have done that far too little in my life. I have wasted a lot of time because I was always busy with the next step. Now I’m forced to live alone for today. And that works. We have not missed the mountain in Italy for a moment.”
Paul Zonderland (68) and Jeanne Vincken (70) met at the hotel school in Maastricht. They moved to Italy, where Paul was managing director of film distribution for Disney and 20th Century Studios. Jeanne was active in making ceramics.
They have three daughters, aged 32, 36 and 38. All three live in Australia. Paul and Jeanne moved from Rome to Vorden, in the Achterhoek, in 2025. Paul’s pension and their state pension provide an income of twice the average. Plus income from investments and real estate.
What is your last Tikkie sent?
Paul: “We don’t do Tikkies. I think that is so narrow-minded Dutch. If we have learned anything in Italy, it is to be generous. Isn’t that a much nicer way of life than calculating everything down to the cent?”
Weekly shopping or going to the supermarket every day?
Every day. Paul: “That’s the nice thing about living here. We walk to the center every day to get what we need.”
What’s your last biggest expense?
Their house in Vorden, where they have been living for six months now. “It may not be the most beautiful house, but it is very comfortable.”
Second-hand or rather new?
“Neither. We are actually decluttering a lot,” says Paul. “We still have a lot of stuff in our house in Italy, I think 90 percent of what we had, but it can all go when the house is sold. It’s very nice to live with 10 percent of your stuff.”
What are you saving for?
For nothing. Paul and Jeanne are just spending. “We have donated generously to the children. We are now setting up a study fund for the grandchildren.”
Who cleans up the house?
Jeanne: “We are both neat and don’t like messes. I often clean up after the dog has made a mess.”
What was really a bad buy?
Paul: “A subscription to ViaPlay. Sorry, but what a crappy channel. I wanted to watch the Premier League. But the matches always start at crazy times, there is a bad menu and all the presenters are so exaggerated. Then no football.”
Who decides what you will eat?
That’s Paul. He likes to cook with the seasons. “In the summer I cook Italian: a lot of pasta and fish. In the spring, of course, asparagus. And now in the winter I make a lot of game and soups and such.”
What do you feel guilty about spending money on?
“Wine, I think,” says Paul. “Then another box arrives and I think: it’s going very fast. On the other hand: we exercise, we walk a lot. Why would we deny ourselves that daily glass of wine if we enjoy it so much?”
Best tip for household or finances?
Paul: “A financial tip: invest early, spread it out and don’t look at it every day. Set your horizon for ten years from now. And don’t let money determine your life. Money is only a means.”
