Have you ever felt the pressure of being the perfect mother? It seems that mothers have to be perfect mothers, we have to have everything under control, always be in a good mood, make tasty and healthy meals… It is not always an external pressure, but on many occasions we are the ones who demand too much of ourselves and feel guilty if we do not reach everything, but what happens if we are not so perfect? Jessica Gomez (writer and blogger) and Melissa Yours (journalist and writer) address in their paper “Education is not a story the idea” of imperfect mothers.
The story of the perfect mother
Jessica begins by asking a question on the air: “Have you heard of mothers who are perfect? Someone? I have a story about them, about the perfect mothers & rdquor ;, he says. and start reading The story of The Perfect Mother. The story describes this mother who always woke up with a big smile, prepared healthy breakfasts for her children with fruits, oatmeal and seeds, and then woke them up. “Their children got up the first time, delighted, and of course they ate their oatmeal breakfasts, which they loved & rdquor ;, Jessica continues, eliciting laughter from the attendees. “To the girl, every morning, I made a perfect root braid, what do I say one? Two, two root braids, one on each side.
And then the perfect mother took her children to the perfect school in a car, which was always super tidy and always smelled clean. Then she was going to feel fulfilled in her perfect job, which, how could it be otherwise, was perfectly compatible with family life& rdquor ;, continues Gomez.
As Jessica tells it, the perfect mother had time to go every morning to the corner cafeteria to eat a croissant and have a cappuccino, and before picking up the children, she made a very healthy meal, “which on top of being healthy It was beautiful to look at also to upload the photo to Instagram & rdquor ;, explains the writer. “The perfect mother always smiled, was always, always in a good mood, never lost her temper or let out a scream, or did things like those that mothers do who are terrible. The perfect mother was like that, humiliatingly perfect & rdquor ;, and thus Gómez ends the fable and gives way to Melisa.
Melisa Tuya: “What is worthwhile in life is that our children are happy and good people”
In the same vein, but less drastically, Melisa talks about regular mothers. “I have come dressed in gray to pay an ode to gray, to the regular and to the imperfect& rdquor ;, clarify. He tells us that he has two children, two dogs, two blogs, two profiles on social networks, his job at the newspaper and many hobbies, “now, for example, he has taken me to learn Japanese & rdquor ;. He acknowledges that many times, people ask him how he does it (“because one of my children has a disability, he has autism, he is also very dependent & rdquor ;, he says).
And Melisa gives us her key: “I always answer, honestly, that I get it because I do everything regularly, because I have reached a point where I have been able to understand that trying not to do everything perfect is a good way to go through life & rdquor ;. And he gives an example of his daughter to explain it. “My daughter has decided to give a growth spurt just now when I had already bought all the tights, and her ankles are visible. I told her: ‘Daughter, I’ve seen that modern people go like this in the center of Madrid, nothing happens’”, she says, starting the applause of the public.
The journalist continues explaining her idea: “Nothing really happens and you have to try to see life that way, the way you only what is really important is important. That your husband has been playing board games with your children all afternoon, the dishwasher hasn’t been cleaned up and you come home tired, well, nothing happens, why should we get angry about that? You have to start valuing what is really important in life, what is really worthwhile, and what is worthwhile in life is that our children are happy and good people, and that we are too & rdquor ;, He says.
“We must begin to value what is really important in life, what is really worthwhile, and what is worthwhile in life is that our children are happy and good people, and that we are too”
Journalist
Tuya concludes by recounting her personal experience when her son was diagnosed with autism: “It was a moment when the perfect family photo was broken, I went to a text that I had written on my blog when the child was not yet born, and I said that the only thing I asked of my son, my only expectations that I had for him, was that he be happy and a good person. I read it again and said “This is still possible”. He has autism, that he has what he has, that he be happy and good people continue to be like this and it is still possible. So let’s go for it, and everything else, you can say it with me: “Nothing happens”.
Jessica: “The children of the disaster mother love her even if she is a disaster & rdquor;
After having read us the story of The Perfect Mother, Jessica resumes her speech. “Now I’m going to tell you another story, the story of The mother disaster (this is me). Of the two stories, one is fantasy and the other is based on real events & rdquor ;, he tells, once again unleashing laughter from the audience.
“This was a mother who, the fifth time her mobile alarm went off, got up and realized that it was already late, for a change. The disaster mother dragged herself to the kitchen, heated the coffee and prepared two bowls of cereal for the children, and then tried to wake them up, but in the end she had to drag them out of bed and carry them to the living room because there was no way . Then the girl didn’t want cereal, she wanted cookies, so the disaster mother gave her the cookies, she ate her cereal and in the end she drank the coffee cold & rdquor ;, she recounts with great humor comparing the same situation in the life of La perfect mother and in the one of the disaster.
And the story continues: “He had made up his mind that he wasn’t going to scream that morning, so he sweetly asked the eldest to put on his socks for the fourth time. And meanwhile, he went with the little girl to the bathroom and the girl told him:
- ‘Mom, can you make me a braid like Lola’s?’ But the disaster mother did not know how to make root braids and told her:
- ‘Honey, I just don’t know how to do those braids.’
- ‘Well, what about a normal one?’, the girl said.
The disaster mother made her a normal braid and the girl left super happy because she put a pin from the Trolls movie on her. By the time she finished braiding, the mother disaster looked in the mirror, looked at the clock, saw what time it was, and was faced with her every morning dilemma: Do I comb my hair or brush my teeth? Because the two things no longer give me time (laughs). The disaster mother went to the living room with terrible hair, but with clean teeth, and saw that the oldest had not yet put on his socks. The disaster mother, since she was a disaster, she screamed, a scream escaped her.
The kids were late for school and, at the last minute, the mother disaster took a little worm from the girl’s ass that would have been stuck in the car, and then she went to work. During the break, she wanted to go for a coffee with a croissant, but she had seen a video on Facebook of a super cool recipe with spinach and she went to the supermarket to buy spinach. The disaster mother finished work late, when she got to school the children were already waiting for her at the door, and the disaster mother felt super guilty for being late. When the kids asked what was there to eat and the mess mom told them spinach cupcakes, there was a civil riot in the room and the mess mom, since it was a mess, at the end she said ‘I’ll order a pizza’. And the end & rdquor ;, says Jessica.
To end the presentation, the writer, blogger and mother of three children announces that she has to tell us a secret: “The secret is that the children of the disaster mother love her even if she is a disaster. For them there is no better mother in the world, and that is something that I think we value little. We should be more aware of how much our children love us and that they don’t need us perfect, they need us happy, because they love us like this, as we are. And that, luckily for many, is not a story & rdquor ;.