In addition to celebrating and enjoying, mourning is also part of the holidays. The Mourning and Celebration Foundation therefore set up special greenhouses throughout the country where relatives can light a candle, write something in a book and hang a ribbon with a text. Such a greenhouse is also located in Bergen op Zoom, with which the organization wants to provide space for mourning.
“The idea is that December, as a festive month, is no longer the same for people who have lost someone,” says Eric van der Geer. He is one of the directors of the Mourning and Celebrating Foundation in Bergen op Zoom. For the second year in a row there is a greenhouse in the city.
“You always carry grief with you,” says Van der Geer. “It does wear off, but it remains a scar.” For many people it is nice that there is an accessible place to reflect on that sadness. “Many people know that they can also light a candle in church. But here it is easier to walk in.”
“These are blows that you will never get over.”
People come to the greenhouse every now and then. A man comes to light a candle for his deceased wife. He sits down in a chair. “We were married for 57 years,” he says. “Her name was Leni, she came from Vlissingen. I always called her Leen.” He gets a lump in his throat. “I hope she sees this. It’s just so hard.” He takes a deep breath. “I will be 89 years old next year. We have always had a great time together.”
During Christmas he had a gourmet meal with his children. “They take very good care of me. I had a great time with them.” But the sadness for his wife does not go away. “These are blows that you will never get over. The sadness remains.”
“It’s nice that they organize this.”
A mother and daughter also enter, with their two dogs. They have to miss a lot of people during the holidays. “My son died 14 years ago,” the mother says. “And my husband two years ago. This is a nice corner to reflect on it for a moment, it feels good to do it.” Her daughter also likes it. “It was a very intense time, I was there when my father died. It’s nice that they organize this.”
“It’s an emotional space,” says a woman who came with her husband. They lost their son a year and a half ago. “Very suddenly,” she says. “Two years earlier he had just set up a B&B.” The loss is still difficult for them. “I’ve never had a problem with it getting dark and the leaves falling, but now I do. I never thought it would be so difficult.”
“Being together with family is very nice.”
Celebrating Christmas was intense. “We do a lot and go away a lot, but when you come home it feels different.” But fortunately there are also beautiful moments. “Being together with the family is very nice,” says her husband. “Then you feel better. And when people sincerely ask how you are doing, that also helps a lot.”
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