TOArrive at the end of the day exhausted but with your head still focused on everything you haven’t been able to complete and on what will be the tasks to be done the next day. We talk about mental load or ‘mental load’a condition many women are all too familiar with.
The so-called multitaskingfor a long time considered a female prerogative, understood as the ability to multitask, not just, like It has been demonstrated, has no scientific basis but ended up becoming one dangerous trap. Because being deemed capable of dealing with multiple tasks at the same time doesn’t mean or shouldn’t mean feeling compelled to do so. And above all, it doesn’t mean ignoring the fact that the much-vaunted multitasking doesn’t have it consequences on mental well-being.
Mental load: what is it and how did the term come about?
It was 1984 when the sociologist Monique Haicault used the term for the first time mental load referring to that invisible burden that comes with juggling the life, work and home management responsibilities. A burden that it’s always been women’s turn carry on shoulders.
In his article The Gestion Ordinaire de la Vie en Deux (The Ordinary Management of Life as a Couple) the French sociologist describes, in fact, how a woman, in a couple and working, feels the responsibility of managing household chores falls on him. An important cognitive load, often connected to “double day” phenomenonwhich leads women to perceive the own life as an endless work shift.
The comic went viral
The mental load can present itself in very different forms, in relation to the experience and daily life of each one. With the strip Fallait demander (It was enough to ask) the cartoonist Emma Clit illustrated, for example, the mental load of women who are part of heterosexual couples with children. As highlighted by the cartoonist, too often women, complaining about the difficulty of taking care of everything, hear their partner answer “it was enough to ask“, as if in fact they were the only ones in charge of organizing the house.
Published in 2017, the comic then became a book (“Just ask! 10 stories of everyday feminism”Laterza) which has rekindled the debate on the division of responsibilities in couples and more generally on gender disparity within the company.
Mental load and society
Often indeed it is society itself that feeds still the prejudice according to which it is normal that the woman should take care of everything. Just think that still too often, a man who takes care of the housework is described as “a companion who helps around the house”as if to say that man can help but that it is in fact always the woman who is responsible for the Do. Not to mention the prejudices around couples with children: it still happens too often to hear define a dad who takes care of his children, a momas if to imply that he is doing something that in fact would be the sole and exclusive responsibility of the mother.
Change perspective is therefore necessary: not only and not so much for a matter of principle, but because the At stake is very high and it is women’s mental health.
Mental load and mental health
Just like a physical burden, the weight of the mental load, Indeed, can be detrimental to well-being and health and, in the long run, if underestimated, it can become even disabling.
«The mental load is that anxiety-inducing state that pervades us when we feel we have failed due to not having respected the roadmap that we had set for ourselves or when the thought of not being able to perfectly manage every aspect of our life makes us feel oppressed and helpless. These negative feelingswho never seem to want to give us peace, are the ingredients of that harmful and dangerous cocktail which bears the name of mental load» – he explains Dr. Valeria Fiorenza Perris, Psychotherapist and Clinical Director of the online psychology service Unobravo.
«Often, when you try to always have everything under control and to keep up with every task, you end up neglecting the only thing that seems to be overlooked: yourself and its own creation – adds Dr. Fiorenza Perris. – There are many women who, overloaded by daily commitments, put their careers aside or, worse still, give up having interests, personal passions and aspirations. This, in the long run, can lead to a progressive loss of motivation and desire to dowhich could lead to a state of profound dissatisfaction”.
The consequences of the mental load
Excessive mental load can have indeed important health repercussions and lead, in the most serious cases, to acute states of anxiety, panic attacks, burnout or depression. Not to mention a whole host of others side effectssuch as insomnia, chronic fatigue and decreased libido.
Problems that concern, not by chance, more often women. According to the last WHO World Mental Health Report in the world there are 301 million people with anxiety disorders and 208 million with depression. These pathologies, however, appear to be more common among the female population: 5% of women are affected by anxiety and 4.5% suffer from depressive disorders, against 3% of men.
To confirm this trend too Good one which underlines how in Italy, in 2022, women who have relied on the online psychology service for reasons related to anxiety or depression they have been more than double that of men.
You can get rid of the mental load
So how to free yourself from the mental load?
“The first step to emancipate yourself from this type of anxiety is to recognize it – explains the psychotherapist again. – That’s why it’s important Always listen to your emotions and don’t neglect them. If you are experiencing a situation of psychological overload, you shouldn’t hesitate to ask for help from the people who care about us, an aid that can manifest itself both a practical levelleaving the organization and carrying out of some tasks to others, which on an emotional level, sharing thoughts and concerns with your partner or someone you trust capable of showing us understanding and empathy. Communicating openly with those around us is a golden rule and it is even more so when experiencing an uncomfortable situation: never be afraid to voice your tiredness or frustration».
Bringing attention to this issue is therefore essential. And not only on the occasion of March 8th.
«The mental load must no longer be invisible – concludes Dr. Valeria Fiorenza Perris. – We must not let the mental load become an insurmountable obstacle for anyone, which is why it is essential that conversations on the topic intensify and that more and more awareness-raising and prevention actions are taken”.
So how to deal with the mental load and get rid of it? Some of them in the gallery above advice from the Psychotherapist and Clinical Director of Unobravo Valeria Fiorenza Perris.
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