When Marjo Hoogzaad (71) from Tilburg first fell in love with a woman, she didn’t even know that was possible. “I had not been informed at all about sexuality.” Marjo was not alone. There is now an exhibition about elderly gays and lesbians in front of Tilburg station. An exhibition with life stories of people like Marjo: “Girls date boys, I thought.”
Marjo has lived in Tilburg since she was 21, so she is now 50 years old. She also came out of the closet in Tilburg, because that is where she fell in love: “Of course I had been there before. Only I didn’t have a name for it. But that feeling I had for women, I didn’t have for men.”
“I studied at the conservatory, there were others like that.”
But in Tilburg Marjo met someone. “She was a friend of my sister. I had a lot of contact with her, I fell in love and it turned out to be mutual. Oh, so this is it, I thought. It really was one eye opener.” Marjo came out in a ‘modest form’: “Here in Tilburg it was no problem. I studied at the conservatory, so there were others like that,” she laughs.
She joined ‘Lesbian Herb’, the left-wing, activist women’s movement. It was very active in the 1970s and Marjo contributed to this: “Because women should be able to decide for themselves about their bodies, members and falling in love,” she says firmly. And laughing she shouts: “Against the patriarchy!” (ed. domination by men) Then, condoning: “But I don’t hate men.”
“She faces 15 years in prison if she doesn’t tell me I’m a lesbian.”
The current times don’t make her happy. “It’s very bad now. Everything is being reversed,” she says somberly. “Look at America, the abortion legislation. And things aren’t getting any better for gays. There are so many scary countries. A friend in Ghana asked if I wanted to come visit. But I don’t. Because homosexuality is prohibited in Ghana. And if she doesn’t indicate that I’m a lesbian, she risks fifteen years in prison. While she herself is not.”
Marjo counts her blessings. “In the Netherlands I can be who I am. But I hope that generations after me can also live in freedom.” She is quite optimistic about the future. She hopes that we are ‘now in a valley’: “History is a wave movement. We have had the peak when a lot was possible: the eighties. People were active then, not so indifferent. Look at the large demonstrations that took place were there at the time, against the atomic bomb for example.”
She is still active herself. She is a member of the COC – the longest-standing LGBTI+ advocacy group in the world – and is organizing a lesbian spring festival with a group of women. “And there are many young women among them. That gives me hope. Five years ago it was the old stuff demonstrating. And now you see many more young people. I find that very gratifying.”
The exhibition ‘Oud Roze’ with life stories of 70+ LGBTI+ people can be seen in front of Tilburg station throughout the month of January. Tilburg Pride Foundation, COC Tilburg-Breda and the municipality of Tilburg brought the traveling exhibition to the city.