By Konstantin Marrach
It is this unconditional desire that drives many of us: to finally find the person who fits perfectly into our own lives. Who shares interests, reciprocates feelings, gives trust, gives security. But all too often it is just a wish.
It is not surprising that matchmakers like Simone Janssen from Cologne are currently experiencing a boom in inquiries. “The need for a reliable relationship has increased,” says Janssen. “You don’t want to get through the difficult times with war, energy crisis, climate and Corona alone, but as a couple”.
The fact is: more and more people suffer from being alone. This particularly affects seniors. But students are also increasingly turning to the psychological counseling centers of the universities.
Of course, finding love has never been easy and never will be. But right now – in times of Corona and the numerous rigorous measures – places of encounter have to be found and the encounter itself has to be practiced again.
Simone Janssen has been head of the Cologne partner agency “Wir 2 Partnertreff” for 30 years now. The problems in finding love have different reasons for them.
In the past, for example, professional life or meetings with friends were a safe bet to initiate relationships. Today there is a lack of opportunity due to home office and isolation. And it is not uncommon for singles to lack patience and time.
“Falling in love requires the willingness to really get to know the other person,” says Janssen. “You have to spend time together. Anyone who is not prepared to do this but immediately sorts out the other person because their hair color or hobby doesn’t suit stands in the way of their own happiness.”
The expert emphasizes: “We have to give each other the chance to show ourselves – with strengths and weaknesses, with all the facets of our personality. That doesn’t work with a quick coffee to go”.
In times of Tinder and Co., dating agencies would swear by personal contact. “Instead of cold algorithms and digital matching bingo, what counts in professional dating is human competence: experience, empathy and an interest in the people sitting in front of you,” says Janssen.
And she emphasizes: “How often do we hear: It wasn’t love at first sight, but over time it turned into love. In many cases it’s worth just sticking with it.”