Today at 12:00 • Updated today at 12:26
Ten weeks before Sheila van den Bogaard (45) was to marry her great love Peter van Dijk (47), disaster struck. After an apparently innocent fall with his mobility scooter, Peter died unexpectedly of a suspected brain haemorrhage. “It can’t be, I thought. This won’t happen to us,” says Sheila. But Peter’s burgundy wedding suit ultimately became the suit in which he was cremated.
Sheila and Peter met at the end of 2024 through a dating site. It was a hit almost immediately. “When I saw his photo, I hoped he would respond,” she says. Peter, originally from Roosendaal, lived in a nursing home due to a muscle disease. Yet after just a few months they decided to live together in Eindhoven.
“People mainly saw what he could no longer do,” says Sheila. “But I saw what he could still do. I encouraged him to do things himself. Cooking for himself, doing the dishes, small things. He completely blossomed from that.”
“He didn’t complain of a headache, so no one thought it was serious.”
Peter suffered from a muscle disease that made walking increasingly difficult. Yet he looked ahead again. The couple visited musicals together, regularly went to their favorite café POPEI in Eindhoven and made plans for the future. One of those plans was a wedding.
“We didn’t even need an official proposal,” Sheila says, smiling. “We just knew we wanted to grow old together. Getting married was part of that.”
But in the spring of 2025, disaster struck. Peter fell with his mobility scooter on the way back from a visit to the doctor. He got up immediately and seemed to be fine. “He didn’t complain of a headache, so no one thought it was serious.”
Two days later everything changed. Peter felt sick, vomited and went to sleep. The next morning they found him lifeless in her mother’s bed, where they were staying that night. He probably died of a brain haemorrhage as a result of the fall.
“When my mother said he had died, all I thought was: that can’t be,” says Sheila. “It felt surreal. Like I was going to wake up from a nightmare at any moment.”
“I can’t get rid of the wedding dress.”
The loss hit even harder because the couple was already in the middle of the preparations for their wedding. The rings had been bought, the white wedding dress was ready. Peter had even picked out his suit: a striking burgundy wedding suit.
“He was proud of it,” Sheila says softly. “He ultimately wore that suit during his cremation. That remains a terrible thought.”
Still, she tries to hold on to the beautiful memories. In early May, some of Peter’s ashes were scattered on a lawn near café POPEI, the place they often visited together. Family, friends and colleagues were there. “That felt good,” says Sheila. “He belonged there. It was our place.”
The loneliness is still present. That is why Sheila does a lot of volunteer work. “Otherwise the walls are closing in on me. But I try to keep going. Peter would have wanted that too.”
And the wedding dress? It is still stored with her mother. “Sometimes I think: should I get rid of it? But I can’t. It’s a reminder of everything we would do together.”
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