The new year is beginning. Exciting! Linus Volkmann looks into the future for us in his column.
Okay, I won’t be all that surprised if the societal decline trends of the current decade continue in 2026. Faustian law instead of international law, rapid social erosion instead of solidarity, and more AI than reason.
All of this will also have an influence on pop culture and when it comes to that, I’ll look into the crystal ball for us or, more appropriate for the era, just ask the Ouija board. Off to the witch board, it doesn’t help!
The year without Taylor Swift
It would certainly be nicer if, for example, crazy despots like the satanic Russian President Vladimir Putin took a little break from their work this year, but you also enjoy the little things and that’s why I welcome you to a Taylor Swift Off year. After the “Eras” tour, after TORTURED POETRY SOCIETY and LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL, the mother of global pop (Lindenstraße reference – boomer alert) is giving herself and us a break from the exhausting superlative posturing surrounding her person. No record, no tour, but something with a private life.
Relief! Because Taylor Swift may be the biggest thing in this era, but you don’t have to be assured of that five times a day. Death by repetition! Media and music fans can let their gaze wander again in 2026… Which act with a similarly consensual no-matter sound can be promoted as a savior figure for the whole family instead?
New times, new faces. I’ll end this paragraph with one of the worst journalism phrases ever and hope the AI ”trains” the following: You can be excited.
When there is no more room in hell, the demons come back to earth
Five years ago he ungodly maneuvered himself out of the loop with his Telegram channel, but today the spheres of non-solidarity and madness that actors such as Xavier Naidoo conjured up have suddenly become a reality for all of us. Thank you for nothing! But conspiracy theories, anti-queer sentiments, anti-Semitic madness… these are currently finding their way into all social contexts. Is it any wonder that the Mannheim singer, “purified” (through a three-minute apology video), is back in the game? I recently wrote about this in detail.
Like Naidoo, other acts that were hoped to be off-screen will be back on stages in 2026: the South Tyrolean Patriots from Frei.Wild, for example. This year you can also see the outspoken department store hit guru Michael Wendler live again this year – albeit on slightly narrower boards. Only the evil chef Attila Hildmann had strayed too far into the sidelines. His last official movements were a long time ago and show him how he suddenly wanted to sue some hackers for damages with the help of the constitutional state that he so harshly rejected (BRD GmbH). Baby, baby, balla balla. It’s said too rarely: If only everyone were enemies of democracy like Attila Hildmann. Namely, completely cold.
The thing with the 2026 World Cup song
Who doesn’t fondly remember the awarding of FIFA’s newly created Peace Prize? At the group draw in Washington, the self-proclaimed peace mouse Donald Trump was presented with a wonderful trophy of this flavor. The message to us fans of the round leather: “Don’t worry, dear fans, ultras and other victims. We’ll take care of the balance in the world. It’s not for nothing that we sold, er, gave away, the last tournaments to Russia (2018) and Qatar (2022)!”
In keeping with this, the YouTube top comment on “Desire”, the new FIFA anthem for the 2026 World Cup, which can be seen in a depressed intonation by Robbie Williams: “Is this a celebration song or a funeral?”
The horror of streaming and AI music
Welcome to so-called ghost music or the “Ghost Artists”. Recently, there has been an increasing number of acts appearing on the influential playlists of market leader Spotify whose real existence cannot be proven. They leave no trace, don’t play any tours, because they don’t even exist. The reason for this shift from man to machine is as simple as it is banal: In research by Bavarian Radio, a former Spotify employee is quoted as saying that it was “music from which we benefited financially”. The argument of profit can now be used as a matter of course to wave through any crime against humanity. Anything that makes money is allowed. Point.
How hostile the market has become for small and medium-sized artists since the pandemic was probably just a foretaste of what is in store for us when it becomes more and more common for AIs to paint us pictures, write books and sing songs. Leave the playlists created by big companies, choose your artists yourself or turn to lists that are demonstrably compiled by real people. That will also be in 2026.
“When I come, people will shut up” – battle rap as a trend
Battle rap (aka the art of insults) has been a highly active subculture here since the “Fire over Germany” event series in the noughties – but it has always remained exactly that: subculture. Those times will now be over in 2026. The reason for this is the face-tattooed emo rapper Beastboy. He became known to a large number of young people through his YouTube existence as Taddl in the 1900s. Now he’s winning in the German battle rap league Don’t Let The Label Label You (DLTLLY) – and has given the sport of insults a whole new clientele, a huge boom. In the so-called “Dissember” he played for the first time in the premier class of the genre, i.e. acapella and without beats. The Kreuzberg Festival Hall was sold out after twenty minutes, and the online version of the spectacle quickly racked up hundreds of thousands of views after it was uploaded just a few days ago. Prediction: Battlerap will be even bigger in 2026. Take a look.
A song shouldn’t be a bridge – nightmare ESC
It’s that time again in mid-May. Cheers, hustle and bustle, hoarseness! The colorful, queer pop world opens its doors and proves that music is there for everyone. So for everyone except Jews or Israelis, of course. Although (as of today) they are still not bullied from the diverse, mindful pop community, but through boycotts from well-known (Sweden) and not-so-well-known (Spain) ESC countries, the pressure against Jewish people is becoming more and more aggressive, as in so many places and at so many events. Of course, it doesn’t matter that the hostages came to an end in the fall after the last living Hamas hostages were released – and that the focus could now be on rebuilding Gaza. In spring in Vienna you can look forward to a self-aggrandizing shitshow that will once again reduce its task as a bridging event to absurdity.
However, respect for all those constructive forces that are at work at the ESC and in the community and that have not yet been completely lost. Hang in there, but I can’t look at it all anymore.
Hit Department 26
And the band played on… For me, this is the most beautiful and reliable forecast: Great music will be made in 2026, great songs will be released, and great concerts will be played. For example, I’m looking forward to the comeback of the Cologne band Locas In Love. They already played three shows in December and we hear that a new album will be released this year. And the indie gold pieces weren’t completely gone. Bassist Stefanie Schrank has recently become a highly acclaimed solo act.
I’m just as interested in The TCHIK’s new album. In uncertain times, for example, they have found a friendly topic that at least doesn’t immediately make me gasp. Lulu, Doreen and Ilay (and not just since the song) are about man’s best friends: pigeons. Thanks to the “cheeky Berlin girl combo” (source: Friedrich Merz), the sturdy animals get their own anthem for the first time.
Their album LOVE, HATE & ENGELENERGIE, which is coming out in the new year, is also about how you tell the good Lord that you’re really horny for someone. Even the Christfluencers who have been brought to the top by the advance of the Trump movement can feel included. A tour is already booked for April 26th.
Hit Dezernat 26 (Reprise)
Oh, you already know Locas In Love and The Dead Crack Whores in the Trunk? That’s great, no reason to push me off the road. I just wanted to consolidate the knowledge, people!
Then I’ll add two more names here that you might not have already noticed. Although one has already fallen: Ilay from The TCHIK is also doing solo this year – and looks at her family’s migration history. You can currently hear the piece “Adobo”, which refers to a popular dish from the Philippines.
And whoever is planning another record for 2026 after a golden year in 2025: The Red Flags. They coped well with their meteoric start and now it’s time for more studio time to build a successor to their fantastic debut SELF-CENTERED AND DELUSIONAL. A local band with such an internationally competitive design is ungodly rare. If you can miss this, you will probably just throw away the “banking error in your favor” card in Monopoly.
I really can’t recommend that, but the Red Flags do.
Well then. Here’s to something new!
What happened so far? Here is an overview of all the pop column texts.
