Fireworks: some people love them, others don’t want them. For war refugees, the loud bangs bring a lot of tension and fear. Ivan Kirdiaiev (28) fled the war in Ukraine to Tilburg 3.5 years ago and knows everything about it.
Ivan is from Kharkiv. He lost a lot due to the Russian attacks on that city. Family members, including his father, were killed and many buildings in the city were destroyed. Ivan fled to the Netherlands with his girlfriend 3.5 years ago and has lived in a shelter in Tilburg ever since.
Before the war started, he and many other Ukrainians loved fireworks. Ivan understands why many people like it and enjoy it. “I understand that people light it to celebrate something and that many people want to see it,” he says. “But for us it’s terrible.”
The sound of fireworks is very similar to that of explosions, he explains. “When that comes unexpectedly, it causes a lot of tension and anxiety.”
Headphones on
According to Ivan, his body reacts automatically to the loud bangs before he can realize that they are fireworks. It then feels as if he is having some kind of panic attack.
Everyone deals with it in their own way, says Ivan. Many refugees try to muffle the noise by closing windows and putting on headphones.
They also try to distract themselves. Ivan does this by talking to his girlfriend and focusing on other things. Sometimes he checks the news to see if something is going on.
Ivan can handle it better during the day than at night. When it is light, he looks at other people on the street. If they don’t panic, he knows it’s okay. At night, when he can’t see what’s going on around him, it’s harder.
Ivan himself suffers a lot from it, but he thinks it is the worst for the children. “They don’t understand what is happening and don’t know how to distract themselves. They often immediately start crying and are even more scared.”
Painful memories
The loud bangs bring back painful memories. When Ivan looked out his window at his home in Ukraine, he could see Russian missiles, bombs and planes. Fireworks often make him think back to when he saw a house near his own destroyed. “The sound of the explosions was very similar to fireworks,” he says.
The tension was even greater when exercises were conducted with fighter jets a few weeks ago. “That sound in combination with fireworks made many people extra nervous.”
Old and new
The first New Year’s Eve in the Netherlands was the worst for Ivan and his girlfriend. They didn’t know why they heard so many bangs and no one explained it to them. Now they try to tell everyone who is new to the Netherlands what is going on.
This year, Ivan and his girlfriend plan to have a nice New Year’s Eve together by cooking something delicious and calling family. It is hoped that 2026 will be a better year for Ukrainians.
Ivan follows the news about the conversations between US President Trump and Ukrainian President Zelensky closely, but for the time being he has little confidence in it. “I have often had hope, but then it turned out that nothing had changed,” he says. “I follow the news, but I don’t dare to believe in it yet.”