CAra Ester,
I read you every week and find interesting ideas. I briefly tell you about my story and my little inner “drama”.
Ho 35 years a satisfactory joba house, a family a bit like this but who loves me, several friends (not many but the right to maintain continuous relationships). Nevertheless I always feel I miss somethingI don’t find peace, it’s regularly they affectionate to wrong, toxic menwho do not want to commit, with life projects other than mine.
I always seem to be at the run of “the right one” that punctually proves to be a failure is a great suffering for me, creating a hole of inner solitude that seems almost irreparable. And the more time passes the more I see pairs of happy friends and I with the same question that resounds in my head, will I ever find love or maybe I’m unsuitable?
A dear greeting S.
Ester Viola’s answer
Dear S.,
We often talk about great classics. “The right person” exists, are hundreds, only that it is necessary to have taken a sufficient number of rips to recognize them. “You fix you with someone who wants you little and call it great love” this is the summary of every experience, sentimental disaster, as you want to call it in your youth. And youth is now variable concept, you can remain young as well as forever. Wishes to break through the age of dates. And there is nothing wrong, if one has no better to do.
Here the old theoretical preaching:
1) Elective affinities
According to the legend, similar souls will do well to attract and be close, because they will frame their edges in a beautiful annurca apple.
In short, if we like the same books, the same TV series, we despise the same people, we vote the same, we like the same posts, we have excellent possibilities.
The problem of believing to elective affinities is that they force you to a demanding theoretical assumption: that humanity is an orderly thing. That there are also no other half apples around the world.
It is explained everything better if you leave the Internet and check one by one the couples you know. You will realize that the natural question is not whether the elective affinities have them or not, is it “but these still do together?”. The answer is a big boh – I don’t know they are not missing.
Love is the miracle that fills the absence of answers to the question “Why insist?”.
2) the construction of a love
He said what the construction of a love breaks the veins of the hands. Indeed. If he finds them already broken at the beginning, then he must change worker. The start of the company is needed at no cost. We serve Allegri, light, a minimum enthusiasm for the start of relationships. Getting to see not wary, virgins of disappointments, in the beginning of the stories, is that the exceptional company.
Cute Young Couple Enjoying a Cup of Coffee While Joking Looking Very Happy and Laughing
3) certain are in pairs because they have satisfied themselves
Ideas are also sneaking on this point. With adulthood it turns out that “being very happy” and “to be satisfied” are two empty cities. The world inhabited in the middle is what we call “couple”.
4) The very long -awaited resistants
In the offices, in the courts, in medical research, in the engineering work, even in the kitchen this is worth this:
Patience rewards.
In the not too corrected falling loves it applies to this other:
The more time passes, the more the possibilities decrease.
“I have never known of a skilled military operation lasting for a long time, while I saw daring operations succeed only for speed in the execution” – the Sun Tzu converted to the table of the sentimental law rarely wrong.
6) The great written understanding
It is among modern disappointments. Nothing amazes people how much to realize that people are not as they write. Who writes without keeping us, who writes without reasons, without understanding. He writes how it was a showcase. He writes for beauty.
Writing very strongly is not an idem feeling, it is just a small championship of brilliant responses. A chat smells only of chat.
The test is to reread after a year: what was “splendid intellectual exchange from publication” yesterday, will become “why was I such a deficiente?”.
7) The two of us are different, nobody will divide us
You are like the others, like us: you are together for the sum of lucky coincidences. Never think better, all relationships resemble each other, the natural dismantling of love each manages it in its own way.
What I wanted to say, S., is that nothing happens in life that one is not very determined to make happen. And that if you go finding the type of adult love, then you have to make a loyal pact with yourself.
And all this is needed to get to a question, even if I imbecile: will love always have to arrive like a blow in the front? If it is not great, isn’t it love? Tolstoy says and I believe that loves by reflection exist, but you must have already crazy. You did it, the crazy, tell me. So you are ready to have a criterion. Think five minutes on who you should like and who is not a thing above your strength, you can do it, S.
At a certain point one discovers that love is not to others, it is up to you. And we say, arrived at a discreet degree of tiredness: “With feelings he just doesn’t work, let’s feel with lucidity”.
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