At the Canal Museum in Amsterdam, we used the Museum Annual Cards to the fullest, we met a couple from Boston whose husband thought the obligatory virtual tour took too long. He was already pulling the handle, wanting to leave a room earlier, while we as a group were only allowed to do so two minutes later. His wife apologized. The day before they were in Florence, a beautiful Italian city where “nothing” was properly arranged. Her husband had lost patience with Europe, but she added that it was meant as a great compliment: Amsterdam was different from Italy.
„Well organized.”
They were here for the culture and historic buildings, I just assumed they were Democrats, that they would hate Trump, but the opposite was true. The woman drew a parallel with a horse that was fed a treat every day with the flat of her hand, but which was now whipped again by the same hand because it had forgotten how to run.
Europe was a horse that was given a treat with one hand and the whip with the other because it had forgotten how to run
„Who is the horse?”, I asked.
„Europe”the woman said.
Her husband added that one horse was not the same as the other, as they had discovered during their expedition through the Old Continent: one horse picks up the pace faster than the other.
The man: “Italy is a lame horse.”
Then he made an indefinable sound. I must have looked at him strangely, it was unclear whether it came from his mouth or stomach. They had eaten tagliatelle carbonara the night before, and it had gone down especially badly with him.
„Italian food”, I said, probably to join in the conversation.
She: “No, Rembrandtplein.”
He added that he had diarrhea and that he had already gone to the bathroom twice during the tour. He didn’t think the toilets in canal houses were good, but they were better than in Florence where nothing was properly arranged at all, but he didn’t have diarrhea yet.
They went to the Rijksmuseum, to the windmills at the Zaanse Schans, to Rotterdam and to the flowers, by which they probably meant the Keukenhof although I wasn’t sure if it was still open. Do I have another tip for the free Tuesday afternoon? Of course I started about Arnhem, did they know the film A bridge too far?, but withdrew my droppings halfway through.
“Loosdrecht,” I heard myself say.
Loosdrecht, for the total Dutch experience.
