For Birsen Basar (39) from Breda, birthdays are a bit complicated. She has autism, would rather not go to a party and therefore asks for a card. This way she can still feel like it’s her birthday. This year she will do so for her 40th birthday on January 4. “This works for me.”
She made the call three times before. Last year she received more than 200 cards. “I was lucky with the algorithm,” she says. Birsen makes her appeal via her social media. “I receive cards that way from acquaintances and strangers. In the beginning they are strangers, but I also have someone with whom I have been sending cards for three years now.”
Why a complete stranger would send her a card is still a mystery to the Breda resident. It makes her laugh. “There are even people I don’t know who say they put my birthday on the calendar. I usually think it’s an honor that they do that.”
“When you’re a woman, growing older is harder.”
How the idea came about
The idea came out of a kind of necessity. Birsen liked birthdays less and less. “They are no longer like they used to be. Back then you could just invite your class,” says Birsen. Especially since her grandfather and grandmother are no longer there, she finds it complex.
“My birthday is always during the Christmas holidays, which is always bullshit and that makes me very sad.” She usually finds it a difficult day because her age is changing. “If you are a woman, growing older is more difficult. It is because of the expectations that come with it. These can sometimes give you the extra feeling of failure.”
This is due to social expectations, she believes. Do you count? Does your life live up to expectations? Maybe those cards will help with that a bit. “That always gives me that birthday feeling.”
“This is my way of celebrating.”
Store in folders
She keeps them all, from each year, in a folder at her home and with her parents. “I’m not going to throw it away if people have made an effort,” she says. “Sometimes I also send a card back, but only if they ask for it.” It’s actually mainly about receiving, namely. “This is my way of celebrating. I don’t force people, but I think it works for me. And if you don’t like that, you can continue scrolling.”
Would you like to send Birsen a card? Then you can have her here just ask.
