As a columnist who is always right, I can’t say “I told you so” all day long. Then I can keep busy. But at the end of last month it came out: “I told you so.”
Then I saw a study that confirms exactly what I have been saying for more than ten years in columns, lectures and in the theater. Namely: stop with meaningless management bullshit. Why?
Because the more susceptible you are to this kind of jargon, the lower you score on analytical skills and logical reasoning, the less well you solve practical problems, and the greater the chance that you will spout this kind of nonsense yourself, according to research by Cornell University.
I really enjoyed this study. Just take this sentence:Working at the intersection of cross-collateralization and blue-sky thinking, we will actualize a renewed level of cradle-to-grave credentialing and end state vision in a world defined by architecting to potentiate on a vertical landscape.”
Hahaha.
The researchers made that kind of gibberish with a ‘bullshit generator’. They combined these with statements from real CEOs from the Fortune 500. They then asked subjects: which texts sound convincing? Which ones are ‘business savvy‘, so how much business acumen does it convey? Then they had to make business cases. And guess what?
That people who could hardly distinguish the real statements from the fake bullshit, scored worse on assignments, had more difficulty with logical reasoning, and were more likely to consider their own boss ‘visionary’. But… they often enjoyed their work more.
This also turned out to be true all those other things I have been writing for years. Namely that the more meaningless the talk at work, the happier some people are. And that the more you puff yourself up behind your laptop, the more you impress the idiots you should actually fire.
Or well, maybe you should keep those bastards right!
Because how wonderful it is to get an entire room on board with total nonsense. To turn on your bullshit generator and see those eyes shine. To “have a quick discussion about the strategic alignment” and see everyone nodding vigorously.
Sure. People often just talk. In mietings, fietbek-rondes, and misjun steetments. And according to this research, that can cloud communication, make organizations less effective, and even increase financial and legal risks. But who cares.
As long as employee engagement comes from the bottom up, the processes are scalable, and the innovation is cutting edge.
And no one asks what is actually meant.
