Due to the arrival of dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Happn, the search for a suitable partner has changed dramatically in recent years. Bachelors no longer have to go to the pub to find each other, but can already find a match with one swipe to the right. Yet that does not work for Kevin, Anne, Owen and Fleur. They are ‘Tinder-tired’ and went on a speed date in the run-up to Valentine’s Day to meet their perfect match in the wild. “See someone’s magic for the first time.”
Dating apps are not successful for the 23-year-old Kevin from Brunsum in Limburg. “Tinder and other dating apps are just a large meat inspection,” he says.
“Women get so many matches that as a man you first have to get in. If you have a match, you miss the dynamics you have with someone when your hair speaks in real life.”
As an assistant professor of Social Psychology, Tila Pronk is conducting research into Love at Tilburg University. She speaks in an investigation Even about a ‘Tinder burnout’ with some bachelors.
The abundance of choice on dating apps ensures that certain bachelors end up at the bottom of the ‘swip pest’. This can result in mental problems, the so-called Tinder burnout.
The 24-year-old Fleur from Breda has been single for a year and a half and has also tried out various dating apps, without results.
“The conversation ends or someone looks very different.”
“Then the conversation ends, because someone is not at all serious. Or if you meet, someone looks very different from the photo. I was completely done with it,” she says.
That is why a special speed date evening was organized in Den Bosch for young people who ‘excited’ on dating apps. Michelle Blom from Blooming Dates held the event in the run-up to Valentine’s Day, because she notices that many peers are ‘tinder-tinder’.
Prior to the meeting, bachelors fill on a questionnaire in what they are looking for in a partner and who they are themselves. This preparation was already a revelation for Fleur.
“You become very aware of what you are looking for and what is not in a partner. If you do not enter this seriously, the one sitting opposite you may not be your thing,” she says.
On the evening itself the bachelors get a note with five table numbers and they take a fifteen minute place opposite a potential match. “It was really out of my comfort zone“, says 21-year-old Anne from Vlijmen.
“The atmosphere was very nice, because you are not the only one who is dating. Everyone comes to such an evening with the same goal,” says Anne.
Anne never sat on a dating app, because she likes to get to know boys in real life. “But in the village where I live, I have never met a boy with whom I would like to date.”
Getting to know new people was also the reason for Kevin to register. “I am not actively looking, but I do want to get to know new people. They don’t get to your door,” he laughs.
The 24-year-old Owen from Zaltbommel joins this. “You sometimes see someone you find interesting, but then you don’t know if that person is single,” he says.
Owen also finds ‘in real life’ dating much nicer. “You get to know someone better in real life. I think it’s ‘Face to Face“Also easier to get a little looser,” he says.
“The magic that you see someone for the first time.”
Fleur also prefers dating in real life. “You have already spoken to each other through a dating app and you know what to expect. Such a speed date evening gives the magic that you see someone for the first time. So you immediately see whether or not it clicks,” she says.
The evening was even such a success that Kevin, Owen, Anne and Fleur all found a nice match. Kevin and Anne will soon be immediately on a second date with someone from the speed dates.
Owen and Fleur have exchanged songs with one of their speed dates. “We’re going to see what’s coming,” laughs Owen.