Seven years after the death of her mother Carrie Fisher, actress Billie Lourd has one on X emotional post published, in which she reveals feelings and sadness. She also shared a photo from her childhood in which the two of them are sitting in the sand. The Princess Leia actress died on December 27, 2016 at the age of 60 on a flight from London to Los Angeles.
About anger, sadness, distance and emptiness
“It’s been seven years since my mother died (but who’s counting?? Me, I guess?),” the 31-year-old began her post, continuing: “Every anniversary brings a different version of my grief with yourself. Some make me fume, some make me cry all day, some make me feel distant and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for not feeling anything, and some make me feel all of these things at once “.
Currently, however, Billie Lourd has a little more certainty: “When I woke up this year, I felt grateful – or grieving, if you will. Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I never had before. She makes me enjoy every moment of joy as if it were my last.”
“I laughed, then cried some more”
Her little daughter also brings more gratitude and knowledge into her life: “Today I held my daughter in my arms as she fell asleep and tears of joy ran into my eyes. I laughed at myself and then cried even harder because I laughed. I felt my mother’s presence, like the warmth of the sun on my skin on a hot summer day. The kind of warmth that makes you unconsciously close your eyes, breathe in slowly through your nose and grin.”
Finally, she shared what helps her and her children: “I miss her every day, but the cliché is also true – she is with me every day – she fills my joyful moments with even more joy. As I tell my son, she lives in the stars – and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. I send my love to all the mourners out there. And I hope that everyone can feel a little bit of sadness in the midst of all the feelings that grief inevitably brings.”