‘Rainbow municipality’ Ostend refuses to recognize both gay couple as fathers of 4-year-old Rocco: “One of us has to adopt our son: this is too crazy for words” | Ostend

“Our son Rocco turns four next week, but unfortunately it won’t be the birthday celebration we hoped for. Today the decision was made by the municipality of Ostend that one of us should adopt our own child”, Stefan Westerlinck starts his story on his Facebook page. Rocco was born in the United States via commercial surrogacy. He has the genes of one of his daddy’s, but is not officially recognized. A lacuna in Belgian legislation means that the double paternal descent link is not filled in, so that Rocco has no parents under Belgian law.

“The lack of that lineage means that Rocco has no official relationship with us. We must not think that something would happen on vacation or anywhere to ourselves. In the latter case, Rocco would be placed as an orphan and not have any right to our legacy while he is genetically our son,” says Stefan. Each city or municipality in Belgium can decide autonomously whether it can recognize a foreign court decision (such as Stefan and Kevin, ed.) and whether or not to fill in the double paternal lineage. Cities such as Ghent, Brussels, Antwerp, Leuven, Halle already do this. Ostend therefore does not. “If we lived in Ghent, we wouldn’t have that problem now,” says Stefan.

“We have been negotiating with the city of Ostend since May 2021 about the recognition of Rocco’s double paternal lineage. After five meetings, meetings with many aldermen, the mayor Bart Tommelein, dozens of city employees and sending countless emails, we were still nowhere at the beginning of this week. After almost a year and a half of negotiations, we received a reply from our Ostend city council on Friday recognizing the paternal lineage with only one of the two of us, whereby one of us will have to adopt our own son. Ostend is a member of Rainbow Cities, a network of cities that supports the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. It is frustrating that this city is not playing a pioneering role.”

Stefan and Kevin now have no choice but to start a procedure at the family court. “It will eventually oblige the municipal council to fill in the lineage, because we are by no means the only couple in this situation in our country. It is a totally unnecessary and grueling procedure that costs a lot of time and money. None of this was necessary.”

Westerlinck nevertheless asks the city of Ostend to reconsider the decision. “Like any other child, Rocco has the right to a secure future. Now he is trapped in uncertainty. Uncertainty due to a gap in Belgian legislation. Can we get rid of that once and for all?” Opposition party Vooruit wants to discuss the theme at the next Ostend city council through John Crombez. We have not yet been able to get hold of Mayor Bart Tommelein for a response.