Bayo: “I often get compliments on my clothes. I usually wear brightly colored clothes, something different every day. Sometimes African robes, sometimes Western clothes with a colorful print. I have those clothes made in Nigeria. In the Netherlands it easily costs 100 euros to sew something, in Nigeria 5 euros.”
Monique: “We met in a nightclub here in Amstelveen. Afterwards Bayo cycled with me to the Baarsjes, where I live. No, we didn’t kiss right away. He had to try a little longer, haha. And he didn’t remember that he had already approached me six months earlier, so that’s also why I didn’t immediately change tack. We’ve been together for almost ten years now.”
Bayo: “I was born in Lagos, the former capital of Nigeria. In 1982 I went to study graphic design in Belgrade. There I met the mother of my daughter Sade (36). Later I came to the Netherlands. Here I had two more children: Shola (27) and Tunde (25).”
Monique: “I don’t have any children. I had two cats for twenty years. They were actually kind of my children. They died last year. I’m still quite sick from that. I know everyone says this, but they were really very special and fun. Their names were actually Mowgli and Baloo, but I always called them Fatty and Mouse. They always came to welcome Bayo. He gave them fish.”
Bayo: “I was the Fishman.”
Monique: “They really had a bond with him.”
Bayo: “I have just retired, I am 67. But I do volunteer work. I get groceries for older people in the area. I have been doing that for ten years, I received benefits for this and I also did this work. I would have preferred a career as a graphic designer, but in the end I mainly odd jobs done. Postman, for example. I have worked at Schiphol and in Aalsmeer, in the flower industry. Then I had to get up very early, at 3:00 am, because we started at 5:00 am. I also worked in youth care for a while as a group leader. I stopped doing that because I had trouble with how they spoke to their parents. In Africa we learn respect and discipline. You even speak with respect to your older brother, even more so to your parents. The young people I saw here were terribly rude to their parents.”
Monique: “I am a communications advisor at the Municipality of Amsterdam. I ensure that Amsterdam residents are aware of the municipality’s policy to make the air in Amsterdam cleaner.”
Bayo: “I have been living in Amstelveen for ten years. It is very quiet here. In the beginning I had to get used to it. Before that I lived in the Plantagebuurt next to Artis. I was used to the sounds of the zoo and often went to the Dappermarkt, nearby. There you have a lot of hustle and bustle, sounds and fun, as I am used to from Africa. So in the beginning I missed that here in Amstelveen, but now I am used to it. And when I fun want to have, I go to the Bijlmer, which I do three times a week. I go there to see friends, speak my own language, buy African ingredients. I often go to an African supermarket where I put on Nigerian music. I also used to perform as a DJ in the Bijlmer, which I did for a long time. People still call me Mr B there, my stage name. Sometimes they ask me for music and I put a selection on a CD for them, with Nigerian music or the best of Bob Marley, for a few euros. Ganzenhoef shopping center is packed with people every Saturday, when there is a market. You can buy ingredients for all kinds of world cuisines and taste Nigerian or Ghanaian dishes.”
Left: a drawing by Bayo, who is a graphic designer. Right: a Nigerian fan.
Photos Mona van den Berg
Monique: “We both love thrift stores. We often take day trips by bike and we always make sure that there is a thrift store nearby to visit. I am especially fond of things from the fifties and sixties. My whole house is full of them. During the weekend I often visit Bayo in Amstelveen and during the week he comes to visit me in the Baarsjes several times.”
Bayo: “I come by bike, but I come less often than I used to. I’m getting a bit older, I’m 67, and it’s quite a distance to cycle and my knee is bothering me. I think Mo should buy me a car (laughs).”
Monique: “We tried an electric public transport bicycle once, and we liked it.”
Bayo: “Yes, we should see if we can buy an electric bicycle, second-hand.”
Monique: “If Bayo needs something, he always finds it on the street. Then he ‘bayoen’ it, that’s what I call it. He doesn’t have to ‘buyen‘ because he can bayoen it. For example a duvet. Then he doesn’t buy it and a little later he just finds a new duvet on the street.”
Bayo: “For example, this week I found a bicycle saddle. I am taking that with me. And I also found my television on the street. There are many rich people in Amstelveen who throw away such things.”
Monique: “We like a lot of the same things, but we are different in terms of personality. I ask a lot, he finds that annoying.”
Bayo: “Haha.”
Monique: “I just want to know everything not necessarysays Bayo. That’s a cultural thing. The Dutch just ask something if we want it and he thinks more: if people want to tell us, then we will hear it. I find that irritating sometimes. Then I think: I’ll decide for myself whether I want to do it necessary find something to know.”
Bayo: “I like to make eggs African style, with tomato and onion. Monique likes that too. But African sauce is too spicy for her.”
Monique: “And I make sauerkraut for Bayo. We cook for each other, but we never eat together. Because Bayo eats much later than me.”
Bayo: “Often not until ten or eleven o’clock at night. Then I’m busy in the Bijlmer and then I come home late.”
Monique: “I have many hobbies. I can’t sit still very well. I play the drums in a Brazilian samba band. I also practice line dancing, karate and nowadays also singing…”
Bayo: “She used to play hockey too!”
Monique: “Film is also a hobby. I have a Cineville pass.”
Bayo: “And I can also get a discount with my city pass.”
Monique: “Dancing in a club is something we both enjoy. That’s how we met.”
Bayo: “Yes, I have show off danced then: I wanted to show that I could dance, to impress (laughs).”
Monique: “That’s how it happened.”
Adebayo or “Bayo” Benjamin (67) has just retired. He is from Nigeria and lives in Amstelveen. His girlfriend Monique Reijnen (59) is a communications advisor and lives in De Baarsjes. They have been together for almost ten years. They like thrift shopping and dancing in a club. Bayo has been known in the Bijlmer as Mr B ever since he performed there as a DJ. Monique earns an average once in a while. Bayo recently received his state pension.
What is your last Tikkie sent?
Monique: “Tickets for a musical. I had advanced them for my brother.”
Weekly shopping or going to the supermarket every day?
Monique: “I don’t go to the supermarket often at all.”
Bayo: “Me every day. Aldi is two minutes away.”
What’s your last biggest expense?
Bayo: “An expensive coat. I am addicted to clothes and shoes.”
Monique: “He has more shoes than me!”
Bayo: “I buy the materials at the Monday market in Westerstraat and then have it made in Nigeria.”
Monique: “For a holiday in a log cabin boat, a floating house. That is fantastic. We will do that soon, in the Bommelerwaard.”
Bayo: “I don’t know if I’ll sleep well, because I can’t swim!”
Second-hand or rather new?
Bayo: “Both. I have a lot of second-hand shoes, I often go to vintage shops.”
Monique: “I like that too. Especially dresses in fifties and sixties style.”
How often do you clean the house?
Monique: “Not that often. Especially in the summer, I prefer to do something else.”
Bayo: “Me twice a week or so.”
What was really a bad buy?
Monique: “I often order things online. I think I have to see and feel things.”
Bayo: “Me too on Temu. Then it says it is cotton, but then it turns out to be fake, synthetic.”
Who decides what you will eat?
Bayo: “Sometimes I ask for sauerkraut, for example.”
What do you feel guilty about spending money on?
Monique: “Clothes. I have so many clothes. And I keep everything.”
Bayo: “I will soon try to sell some of my clothes at the flea market near the Olympic Stadium.”
What are you saving for?
Bayo: “A holiday to Nigeria. I have a big family and everyone expects something from you. They think I’m rich because I come by plane. I give something, but there are too many people, I can’t give something to everyone.”
Best tip for household or finances?
Monique: “You have to ask yourself whether you really need something and whether it gives you a sparkle. Otherwise you shouldn’t buy it.”
Bayo: “Do your shopping at Aldi or Dirk van den Broek. That’s what I do. Because everything has become more expensive lately. This way you can save money for the future or to travel.”