A grandmother who can no longer walk. A mother who is sick. Or parents who do not speak Dutch, meaning a child has to translate at the doctor’s office. At KBS De Zandberg primary school in Breda, students discovered this week that informal care is much closer than they think. “You can’t tell someone is having a hard time at home.”
In group 8 at KBS De Zandberg, teacher Arne Spalen asks who sometimes takes care of someone at home. At first it remains quiet. Then hands slowly go up.
A student says that his grandmother has an artificial hip and can hardly do anything herself after a fall. “Then I have to help her get things, because she can no longer climb the stairs.” Another child, 11-year-old Erdem, says that he often goes to the doctor to translate for his father and grandmother. “Then my father says something and then I tell the doctor.”
“Children often do not know themselves or each other that they are informal caregivers.”
The lesson is part of a new lesson package from BredaMantelzorg about young caregivers. According to coordinator Saskia Wagenmakers, one in four children in the Netherlands is a young informal caregiver, often without calling themselves that. “Children often don’t know it about themselves,” she says. “Classmates don’t know about each other. And sometimes teachers don’t know either.”
Teachers try to make the subject open to discussion with statements, quiz questions and practical stories. Because, according to Wagenmakers, informal care goes beyond unloading the dishwasher once.
“These are children who grow up in a care situation,” she continues. “For example, a parent with MS, a brother with a disability or a grandfather or grandmother who needs intensive care. Some children are constantly worried or have to take the situation into account at home.”
BredaMantelzorg developed a teaching method for groups 7 and 8 of primary schools with the aim of awareness and help. A trial lesson was held at KBS De Zandberg where the children were remarkably open. Some say that they are less able to meet with friends because they have to help at home or because it has to remain quiet at home.
Teacher Arne Shalen also notices that stories are coming to light that he did not know before. “I was somewhat aware of some children, but other stories really surprised me. Then you realize how important it is to have a conversation about this.”
The teacher also notices how difficult it is to recognize young informal caregivers. Children may be tired in class, have difficulty concentrating or be absent more often, without anyone knowing that something is going on at home.
Another student, 12-year-old Mees, says that the lesson makes him look at classmates differently. “I didn’t know you could already be an informal caregiver at the age of four,” he says. “And you can’t just tell from someone that they are having a hard time.”
“When children understand why a classmate cannot play along, more understanding arises.”
According to BredaMantelzorg, early detection is important, because long-term care responsibility at a young age can cause problems later. Think of stress, overload, or dropping out of school.
That is why the teaching package focuses not only on recognition, but also on understanding in the classroom. “If children understand why a classmate sometimes cannot play along or is worried, there will be more mutual understanding,” says coordinator Wagenmakers.
The trial lesson in Breda is intended to further improve the material before it is used more widely. But teachers and organizations have already drawn one conclusion: children recognize much more from their own lives than adults often think.
And sometimes that insight starts with a simple question in class: who do you actually care for at home?
Week of the Young Informal Caregiver
From 1 to 7 June it is Young Informal Caregiver Week. During that week, organizations throughout the Netherlands draw attention to children and young people who grow up at home caring for a sick, addicted or disabled family member. Many of them do not recognize themselves as such and that is why guest lessons, activities and meetings are organized.
