According to the woman, the relationship was stressful. The man tried to turn the little child against him.
The relationship that started from the TV series turned into a family hell. Illustration image. PASI LEISMA
- The everyday life of the couple, known from the first date at the altar program, turned into an oppressive family hell.
- The man abused his wife eleven times over almost two years, often in the presence of a small child.
- The man was sentenced to a suspended sentence for intimate partner violence, and the couple has divorced.
The relationship that started from the First Date at the Altar program turned into an oppressive family hell. The matter is clear from the district court documents obtained by Iltalehti.
The couple gave a happy image of their relationship in public. They have a child together. The verdict shows that the man assaulted his wife a total of eleven times over the course of a couple of years.
The couple is currently divorced.
The woman told the court that the relationship that started with the TV show had worked well at first. Then the man had started to subdue her. At first, the violence was pushing, which had become more frequent as the relationship continued. He had had to flee to a shelter several times during the crimes.
The incident is a sad example of domestic violence, which is a significant problem in Finland.
The woman described the couple’s life as stressful. The quarrel was caused by the couple’s everyday life, financial situation, the woman’s studies and work. The violence mainly took place in the family’s shared home and summer cottage, often in the presence of the parties’ small children.
The violence included strangulation, hitting with fists and open palms, hair pulling, kicking, pushing and spitting.
“Just shout”
The first assault started from an argument about cleaning. The woman had opened the washing machine, when water had flown on the man. The woman was tired and blamed the man for the chaos in the kitchen. The man had grabbed the woman by the throat, pushed her into the toilet and spat on her.
During the situation, the man held the couple’s child in his arms and said to him: “Look at your mother”.
According to the woman, the man tried to turn the child against her. The man had called her a bad mother and crazy.
Later, the man was tense because it was difficult at work. The quarrel was caused by dirty clothes. When the man hit, the woman ran to the front door with the child in her arms, where the man grabbed her by the throat. The woman tried to call for help.
In a later situation, a woman fell on the stairs with a child in her arms. When the woman tried to take care of the crying child, the man came next to her and started barking at her. When the woman tried to order the man away, the man punched her hard in the head.
Credible evidence
The district court found the woman’s account of the events to be very credible. It was strongly supported by documentary evidence.
The woman had taken photos of her injuries and made detailed diary notes about the abuse on her phone. He described his notes as a coping tool.
The woman had also told her friend about the events and visited a doctor, who had recorded the same stories in the medical records.
The man was sentenced to a nine-month suspended prison sentence for his actions.
The court judgment given years ago is legally binding. The matter became public when Ilta-Sanomat reported on the relationship of the Ensitreffit altarilla couple, which did not correspond to the glossy image given in the program.
A huge problem
Domestic violence is a serious social problem that affects society as a whole. According to the Association of First Aid and Shelter Homes, almost 12,000 people were helped last year by the services of its member associations. The number has increased by more than 60 percent during the current decade.
According to Naisten Linja, 57 percent of women living in Finland have experienced physical violence, sexual violence and threats of violence.
Domestic violence burdens not only the judiciary and the police, but also health care, shelters and child protection. Violence can be seen as long-term trauma symptoms, sick leave, lost working days and a decrease in tax revenues. Central Federation of Women’s Organizations intimate partner violence costs society an estimated 2.9–5 billion euros per year.
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Help is available
Intimate relationship violence refers to violence in which the perpetrator and the target have or have had a close relationship with each other.
In addition to intimate partner violence, the definition also includes violence against children, close relatives and other loved ones. The author and the subject do not have to live in the same household.
Violence is not always physical, but it can also be mental or financial.
112 helps in acute situations.
Rikosuhripäivystys (116 006) and RIKUchat are available in Finnish Mon–Thurs from 9 am to 6 pm and on Fridays from 9 am to 4 pm, in Swedish Mon–Fri from 12 pm to 2 pm. The services are free of charge, and you can also call the phone anonymously.
Nollalinja (080 005 005) serves those who have experienced mental, physical or sexual violence or the threat of it in their close relationships. The service is free of charge and open 24 hours a day, every day of the year. Nollalinja’s chat is open on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Naisten Linja (080 002 400) helps girls and women who have experienced violence and their loved ones, Mon–Fri from 16–20. The service is free of charge. Naisten Linja’s chat is open on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 16:00 to 20:00.
