“Eventually you sleep with a gun under your bed”

MP Sofia Virta (green) can be seen in Yökylä in the Maria Veitola program. Jani Korpela

The chairwoman of the Greens, Sofia Virta, has previously said in public that she lived in a violent relationship for years. Virta and Maria Veitola also discuss the topic Maria Veitola in Yökylä in the program. The episode can already be seen on the MTV Katsomo+ service.

Virra’s ex-husband has previously been convicted of assaulting Virra, gross defamation and two violations of a restraining order. Virta divorced her husband in 2020. They have one child together.

The program shows how Virta and Veitola first participate in the meeting of the anti-violence network. After the meeting, Veitola discussed the topic with Virra.

Veitola asks if she can ask Virra about her previous relationship. Virta answers in the affirmative and says she will if she feels like it.

– You were in that relationship for many years, or from what I understand, that’s why the violence lasted so long. Why were you in that relationship for so many years? Veitola asks.

Virta estimates that the question posed by Veitola can be a really painful question for those who have gone through something similar.

– I have gone through really long thought paths and moments also through self-blame. Why the hell was I there?

– I had a child in such a life. Yes, they think, what the hell. I have stood there at the door and was about to leave. But how can it be that with words another person can get such a grip on you that you turn back even at that door? Virta ponders.

Virta blamed herself for causing the torment. He also says in the program that he heard from the other party that he was to blame.

– We hit such weak points and say, in typical fashion, that no one else can tolerate you or that no one would look at you like that. You are the aggressive party when you speed up, says Virta.

Virta estimates in the program that she only understood violence in reality after everything had happened. As a parent, Virta estimates that the change was finally brought about by the fact that she was not only responsible for her own safety.

– The turning point for me was probably the fact that you have that dumpling in your lap and it’s my responsibility to make sure that he doesn’t look at that kind of life.

Virta says that she also talked with a police officer who had read about her violent relationship background in the media.

– He told me that he has to ask, but don’t be offended. He wants to learn and that’s why he asks why you didn’t leave, Virta tells Veitola.

The police told Virra that they know that the question will not help the matter. However, he explained that he wants to understand the situation of Virra and others who are experiencing something similar.

– I tried to explain that it is a web in which you are wrapped. It starts with really small things and then you end up sleeping with a gun under your bed.

– There is such a great feeling of failure associated with it that I guess my life is not like this. I worked in the social and health sector, I worked with people who have faced violence. Suddenly I live such a life, it is such that the head cannot comprehend it.

Virta says in the program that she has experienced violence numerous times also when she worked in child protection.

– The customer gets nervous and then they come on. Let’s grab breasts, strangle, kick, try to rape, Virta enumerates.

According to Virra, however, the experience of intimate partner violence is different.

– Things break in a different way when you have to understand that it’s the closest person you consider the safest. I can’t understand how he can do this to me.

– I remember the first time. That feeling was that something broke in my chest. It was a physical sensation. It felt like hot water was raining down on my chest.

Yökylä Maria Veitola program on Mondays on MTV3 channel and MTV Katsomo. See all TV programs and broadcast times in Telku’s TV guide.