Hardly any event is as emotionally charged as a wedding. But behind the most beautiful day of your life there is often an enormous financial risk and without any external pressure.
Emotion beats reason
There is something sublime about the moment when two people say yes to each other. It is a promise, carried by emotion, symbolically charged, traditionally framed. No wonder that the celebration around it should be special. And yet many couples end up in financial difficulties. Some things are paid for on credit, some things are paid off over years. What at first glance looks like pure romanticism is, on closer inspection, often the result of social mechanisms and market economic calculations.
The more expensive the wedding, the greater the risk
A study by economics professors at Emory University showed that expensive weddings are associated with a higher risk of separation. The researchers concluded that spending more than $20,000 significantly increases the risk of divorce. They cited the pressure that high initial investments put on a relationship as a possible cause. Anyone who starts a marriage with debt carries an additional burden before everyday life even begins, according to Psychology Today.
More wedding guests – more stability?
However, researchers at the University of Virginia as part of the National Marriage Project found that, contrary to belief, smaller, more intimate celebrations are more beneficial to the relationship. On average, the more people present at the wedding, the lower the risk of later divorce. It seems possible that larger celebrations will go hand in hand with stronger social networks. Those who can mobilize a large number of close contacts may be better integrated and receive more support in the long term. At the same time, a certain external pressure of expectation could also play a role, such as the idea of not giving up on a publicly celebrated marriage so quickly, as Psychology Today reports.
The psychological short circuit
The willingness to spend heavily is rarely the result of sober consideration. Many people dig deep into their pockets in this situation without feeling that it is excessive. This is also because the so-called feeling of pain when paying – the “pain of paying” – is almost eliminated at weddings. What would otherwise cause discomfort when you see a high bill is in this case masked by emotions. Wikipedia describes this effect as a psychological protective function that is hardly effective, especially during major events. Credit card payments further increase this effect.
When the wedding becomes a public performance
Weddings are no longer purely private rituals. They take place in a social context that is strongly influenced by external perception. Family, circle of friends, colleagues and social networks together provide a picture of what a day like this should look like. A quiet but effective pressure of expectation arises. The desire to keep up resonates even when it isn’t expressed. The BankBazaar blog describes this mechanism as collective competition that has long since extended beyond the narrow circle of acquaintances.
Paul Schütte, editorial team at finanzen.net
