NoIn the “shocking past” Beatrice and Bernardo meetshe is thirty years younger, a fundamentalist romantic, he is a solid man with the super power of distance that he puts in front of any human being. On paper they don’t work, in reality they become a couple “envied by the gods”, as he says.
Love guides them but it is sex that glues them together, that makes them feel invincible and misunderstood to those who look at them from the outside, to those who load the washing machine in the evening and clean the kitchen instead of having sex. She invests everything, he promises nothing. She leaves her husband and at thirty years old she discovers passion, she discovers herself sexy and sensual. Bernardo finds intimacy and fun again (he has already been married twice), but remains essentially unflappable. For him, building is not a goal.
In the “devastating past”, after ten years, Bernardo leaves without an explanation, leaving Beatrice in disbelief and prostrate. She barely recovers from the “sad past”, she meets other men but they are only shadows. In the “off present”, ten years after the separation, Bernardo returns to her life, unexpectedly. On different temporal levels, which intertwine like the waves of memories, Elisa del Mese tells not only a story of love, but also of the education and sexual liberation of a young woman.
Elisa del Mese, Roman, author and screenwriter, has been a collaborator on many Rai programs and creator and host of video podcasts. Photo: Marco Ferrario
What is the relationship between Beatrice and Bernardo?
She has an attitude of unconditional surrender towards love, he – inspired by a man with whom I was truly in love – is like a vaccine that neutralizes excess romanticism. Yet, they guide each other towards some aspects of their being that they never wanted to see. And then there is a great passion between them that lasts for ten years.
At first she is a repressed young woman. What drives her to silence her senses and settle for a marriage without momentum?
He feels pain for his father’s death and feels responsible for his mother. He tries to recreate a family like his original one, but it’s not what he wants. He only understands it when he meets Bernardo.
This love “rewrites” her, she says, presents her to herself. Is there always a need for others to know and recognize each other?
Yes. We can’t do anything alone, we are designed to be in relationships. But I notice that in this historical and social phase we are almost afraid to start a relationship, we fear becoming dependent on the other.
Isn’t Beatrice addicted to Bernardo?
No. She is dependent on who she thinks she is when she is with him. Only later does he understand that the discoveries he has made about himself and his new identity remain, even without Bernardo.
What change in particular did you want to bring about?
From a narrative point of view it seemed interesting to me to construct the sexual liberation of a woman’s body and desire. A very intimate but at the same time universal passage.
“Be wary of clean kitchens” by Elisa del Mese, Bompiani320 pages, €18
Beatrice’s father has just passed away. In Bernardo, who is thirty years older, do you see a father figure?
Bernardo is the father she would have liked to have. A father who would help her free herself instead of being afraid to let her go. Apart from the erotic passion, between the two protagonists there is a relationship almost like a Bildungsroman. Holding such a big age difference for a long time is really difficult.
They think that their relationship is unique and superior, that everyone is envious. Yet, they betray themselves. Why?
Because he is a chronic seducer, used to being liked. And she understands it, lightens up and discovers that she likes exploring her sexuality too. Their clandestine affairs enrich the relationship, not ruin it. This is also a way to really try to get to know each other.
Is her desire to feel seen, to be moved, or the love she feels for him stronger?
I think they coincide. This is why when he leaves her she slips into pain which then lasts for many years. Nothing can replace love. After he leaves she forgets everything she has built, she completely freezes.
Is it easy today to confuse love with approval, with a like?
Yes, because we are very much in love with ourselves, we invest little in others and there are more and more singles. We have almost all freed ourselves from the idea that to be happy you need a husband and children, but you still need to have a plan for two, to have meetings. Bernardo and Beatrice continually question themselves about who the other is, also to define themselves. Today I see that people immediately get discouraged, give up at the first misunderstanding and block the other person on social media. It is not a sustainable condition for humanity.
