A pad, a flipchart and an electric fountain are next to each other. The bright treatment room of pastoral psychologist Peter Pijpers (74) overlooks a deep green garden on the Westersingel in Rotterdam. Above the fireplace a huge built-in bookcase with titles such as: What do you mean free will? and The imagination of thought.
Peter – round glasses, woolen cardigan – gives a gentle handshake. He specializes in meaning and is a tai-chi teacher. The pad is for the group tai-chi class on Mondays, the fountain is a symbol for the flow of energy. “Have you ever worked on it, meaning?”, Peter wants to know from me after a long silence.
Ivo Kruijt (25) sets the large oval table in Peter’s room. Next to a bowl of carrots is a box of tissues. Peter: “I also do group therapy here, at this table.” Ivo sets out baked rolls, boiled eggs and toppings. He also cooked an egg for us. The sound of a gong sounds softly from the hallway. “Ah, that’s the lunch gong,” says Peter.
One floor higher, in the office of founder and psychologist Nedim Köse (54), hangs a large gold-colored disk. Orthopedagogue Feyza Gürler (36) just hit it, we were too late for a photo. Office employee Ömer Köse (24) would like to do it again.
Back at the lunch table, everyone moves slowly and is polite. “Can I have cheese from you, please?” is answered with: “Yes, of course, please.” It is quiet while peeling the eggs.
Nedim would like to present a case to the rest. He and Feyza just had a conversation with a mother and daughter. “I have ADHD and I can’t cope with my feelings, that’s what the daughter kept repeating,” says Feyza. According to Nedim, the labels in mental health care have a stigmatizing effect: “The label becomes the truth and stands in the way of any form of real connection.” The rest nod in agreement. Feyza asks for the honey and the cheese: “I like sweet-salty or sweet-sour combinations. It’s just like in real life, you need both.”
Photos Simon Lenskens
The conversation slowly fades away, it is quiet again for a while. “Can I have the pepper again, please?” “Yes, no problem, please.” Lunch is an important time for everyone at Nedanza to let off steam. “If you want to work in sincere contact, it is necessary to share it,” says Nedim.
Every last Thursday of the month is a training day. Nedim teaches about systemic therapy, Peter about contact therapy. Everyone practices on themselves and on each other. Peter first empties his mouth neatly and then says: “Self-contact is a very important aspect, from there you make contact with the other.” According to Fabian Slaats (29), everyone knows each other very well because of the training days. “Your own traumas and family dynamics are then the subject,” says Fabian.
If you want to work in sincere contact, it is necessary to share it
Every Monday evening Nedim gives group tai-chi lessons, open to clients and employees. “I thought I had strong legs, but it is very tough,” says Ivo. Everyone nods in agreement. “Within a few minutes you’ll be completely shaking,” says Ömer. In the summer the lesson is outside. The fountain next to the flipchart babbles on.
“Can I please have the napkins?” The tissues, which are normally used to absorb tears, are passed over the table. Fabian makes one last sandwich with chocolate sprinkles and then wipes his hands on the thin paper. Birds sound from the garden. Everyone has finished eating, lunch is still 25 minutes away. “We usually just sit quietly for a while or walk around,” says Nedim.
