A new bench has recently been installed on the schoolyard of OBS Uilenspiegel in Boekel. It doesn’t seem very special at first glance, but the meaning behind it is even more so. The so-called ‘buddy bench’ is intended to bring children who are alone into contact with others. “It can be that simple,” says teacher Sjaak van Moorsel.
It all started with an email from a concerned parent during the autumn holidays. “I saw a story about it on LinkedIn from another mother. She told a story about her child who had benefited from the buddy bench. I immediately thought of our school.”
“She thought it would fit in very well with our school and I immediately agreed,” Sjaak adds. He immediately shared the story with his colleagues after the holidays. “They were immediately very enthusiastic. The idea then was to raise money during the Christmas period to realize that buddy bench.”
“We don’t want children to feel lonely here.”
The entire school got behind the action en masse. The money for the bench was collected by the children themselves during a Christmas market. “We all made things from clay. Other children had chocolate milk and cookies and another group had Christmas pieces,” says 9-year-old Jelle.
“We don’t want children to feel lonely here,” says Pip (9) from group 5/6 about the reason why all the children were so keen to raise money for this cause. “It’s nice when children can play together.”
The buddy bench is now in the schoolyard. “I’m really happy that he’s here,” says ten-year-old Lot. “The idea is that if you have no one to play with, you sit on this. And then children help you play again and then you feel less lonely and sad,” Pip adds.
Patricia Bolwerk of the Stop Bullying Now Foundation appreciates the efforts of the students and teachers for the buddy bench. According to her, a buddy bench can help to create awareness of lonely children, but it does not automatically solve everything. “On the contrary, without proper guidance the effect may remain limited or even be counterproductive.”
“If a student sits on the bench and other students do not respond or laugh, this can actually weaken that child’s position instead of strengthening it,” Bolwerk adds.
According to the foundation, anti-bullying approaches only work if the entire group is involved and teachers actively manage behavior. “A buddy bench can be supportive within such a broader approach, but is not a solution in itself.”
“If that bench can contribute to this, then it is a very good action.”
On the Uilenspiegel they mainly see the positive sides. “Bullying? I hope not,” says Sjaak van Moorsel. “If it does happen, it is up to us as teachers to change it so that everyone realizes the value and function of the bench.”
In fact. Since the first day the bench was there, the teacher has noticed that the bench can have a connecting role. “I was on duty and walked across the schoolyard. A boy from group 0/1 was sitting on the bench. He indicated that he did not have a buddy to play with.”
A little further on, Sjaak saw another child alone and encouraged him to go to the boy on the couch. “Five minutes later I saw them playing together in the sand. It can be that simple. That makes me a happy person. It’s just nice to see everyone having a good time on the playground. If that bench can contribute to that, then it’s a very good action.”
