Recommendations of the Editorial team
Donald Trump has fired Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, much to the delight of late-night hosts. Noem’s departure provided plenty to talk about, and several moderators immediately suggested possible punishments for Noem, which has struggled with public criticism, personal scandals and bad press in recent weeks.
On “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert could hardly contain his excitement. “Let’s talk about Kristi Noem being fired!” he shouted at the start of his monologue. “It’s too early to know why Kristi Noem is gone,” he admitted. “Before we get any more details, I want to say with absolute certainty: She is a domestic terrorist who belongs in Guantanamo.”
He added: “Sorry, I’m being told that’s not true. But I acted on the information we had at the time.”
Colbert and the Phantom Job
Colbert described how Trump announced the news via social media as usual. “Acting Secretary Kristi Noem, who has served us with distinction and achieved numerous spectacular results (especially at the border!), will serve as Special Representative for the Shield of the Americas, our new security initiative for the Western Hemisphere, which we will announce on Saturday in Doral, Florida,” the president wrote.
“Sounds like someone is going to be FIFA’s new Minister of Internal Security,” Colbert quipped. “Well, Noem can always go back to her other jobs: cowgirl, soldier and village witch who tells you exactly when you’re going to die.”
Jimmy Kimmel was similarly pleased on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” “I think I speak for all of us when I say we wish Kristi the best of luck in her brand new, completely made-up job,” Kimmel said.
Kimmel on the 220 million campaign
“Trump was said to be particularly upset that Noem claimed in her testimony that he had approved a $220 million advertising campaign that featured her chasing immigrants and riding a horse in various outfits,” Kimmel said. “Trump said he didn’t know anything about it, even though we all knew everything about it. Well, you know him. He doesn’t watch much TV.”
He added: “You know what the funniest thing would be? The funniest thing would be if she gets deported to El Salvador.”
On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon announced the news to thunderous applause from the audience. “You never know what Trump is thinking – either he thinks she’s incompetent or he wants to make her the new Supreme Leader of Iran,” Fallon said. “Noem is the first Cabinet secretary Trump has fired since he returned to office. He was like, ‘Man, I forgot how good this feels. Get me Kash Patel.'”
Kosta and the six-minute job
On “The Daily Show,” Michael Kosta jokingly exclaimed, “Now that she’s gone, the Trump administration is going to be great!”
“Don’t worry about Kristi,” he said. “She already has a new job that’s just as important. Yes, Special Representative for the Shield of the Americas, Western Hemisphere Division. You can tell it’s a promotion when the job was invented with fridge magnets exactly six minutes ago.”
Noem’s firing follows a congressional hearing in which lawmakers grilled her over a series of catastrophic failures by her department, including the killing of two Americans by Border Patrol agents in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and alleged attempts by DHS to obstruct the investigation into the shootings. Noem also came under fire for excessive spending at the department while placing restrictions on FEMA disaster relief funds.
Noem was also questioned by lawmakers about her alleged affair with temporary government employee and former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. In recent weeks, Lewandowski and Noem have been accused of misusing DHS resources and generally causing chaos within the department.
