Do you have that too? That you’ve had a stone in your stomach for a week. About that new cabinet. The third in four years. All those beaming ministers and state secretaries on the steps. Hopeful.
They are going to work “extremely hard,” said nitrogen minister Jaimi van Essen. There is a ‘code of inter-administrative relations’. That contains agreements, as I read de Volkskrant“about good cooperation between governments, in order to tackle social challenges faster, more effectively and with democratic legitimacy.” I don’t know.
Sure. I sincerely wish Rob Jetten the best. Huge job, such a minority cabinet. Respect for him trying (again). But I think we have to be honest. This experiment is going to fail miserably. And this is why.
1Rob Jetten is the youngest Prime Minister ever
While people in times of crisis (Russia, Donald Trump, Ajax) prefer an old hand who looks as if he personally experienced the Second World War. Think of Abe Lincoln, Dwight Eisenhower, and Japke-d. Bouma.
2Rob Jetten is a millennial, in a millennial cabinet
The generation that everyone hates. ‘Milk Owls’ for the fossils of Today Inside. Viewed disparagingly by the other millennials (self-loathing). And for the brats on the Gen Z side, that is precisely part of the problem. Fortunately, the teenagers of the Alpha generation are not yet allowed to vote.
3The new cabinet must fight every deal
Depends on the opposition for every decision. Or well, opposition. You have an opposition in a majority cabinet. For the shape. In this minority cabinet there is no opposition, but these are people to whom you have said: you are not allowed to participate in the cabinet, but I will ask your permission on every file. An accident in slow motion.
4 The cabinet is dependent on politicians who will ‘give something’ to the coalition partners
Sure dude. Politicians who grant each other something. It’s like asking a shark to spare the bathers’ juicy ankles a little. It’s like asking a bloodhound if it wants to eat vegetables for four years.
5Rob Jetten is always friendly
Has no frayed edges. No enemies. He is the yuppie who walks into the Hells Angels’ home stadium in a suit and orders a latte macchiato with a big grin. When the world is on fire, I’d rather have a street fighter as boss of the country. Who, tattooed to the teeth, addresses the enemy. While he cleans his nails with a large knife.
6D66 is progressive. Or well…
They had that profile. While they now have to implement the most right-wing coalition agreement in a long time. As the leader of the VVD. Rob Jetten is therefore a vegetarian who lights the barbecue at a BBB party. The most unbelievable prime minister since Dick Schoof.
7Rob Jetten wants to listen, connect and collaborate
Um, Rob. Listening is dangerous. Then you hear what everyone wants. And what everyone wants is not possible. In the Netherlands, “Connecting” is not only seen as a catchphrase, but is usually seen as a sign that someone does not yet know reality. And collaboration? In the Netherlands that usually means waiting until incompetent people have finished talking. And that can take a long time.
Should we just call the new elections then?
Well. Wait a minute. It is still possible that a miracle will happen. Because:
1We are finally having substantive debates again
Because there is no solidified coalition agreement, politicians have to talk hard to convince others.
2Everyone smells that he can get something done
More fat bikes, but also more budget for education. Another 130 on the highway, but also more women’s rights. Fewer pigs, but also more cuts in public broadcasting – anything is possible!
3If it fails now, we will get Dick Schoof back
Nobody really wants that, including Dick Schoof. So this is just going to be a success for four years.
4We have lost Marjolijn Faber
Gain.
5Furthermore, Rob Jetten is well dressed. Modest
Doesn’t want to live in the Catshuis – he sets a good example on the housing market. And there is that positive vibe of the bromance with Henri and Jesse. A tough, loving tension. And tough loving tension will always bring more than hate and retaliation.
6In that sense, the Jetten cabinet is actually a response to these polarized times
Because we now have a prime minister who is young but experienced (because he started in politics when he was four years old). Innovative and stable. Connecting (with the VVD) and tough (against minimum income, the sick and unemployed). Sympathetic and ruthless.
7And Rob Jetten has an Argentinian fiancée!
Which drags him through. That gives exotic energy. And can say that Rob is “a bit stupid” if he has said something horrible.
8What also helps enormously: expectations are low
So low that anything that has even a modicum of success is already enormous progress. This government could well succeed because nothing, absolutely nothing, is expected of them. What I mean: The Netherlands already expects it to fail.
Anyone who has been there for more than 11 months is a resounding success.
