In the dog walking park, a man walks with a dog that used to be very relaxed, but now barks continuously – the dog, not the man. He also has a large chest, again the dog, although the man’s is not small either. The dog’s bark gives its bark enough force to bounce off the surrounding flats and echo all the way to about the gates of heaven. One of the apartment residents recently sighed: “He is there every day from eight to nine.”
The dog barks because he wants the man to throw the ball. Dog walkers are then forced to pause their conversations and watch as the man fumbles the ball into the disposable stick: one of those plastic attachments for when the force of your throw is out of proportion to your dog’s walking ability. The man whips the ball into the bushes on the other side of the park. The dog whizzes after it. As he searches, you see his behind among the leaves. Everyone has a moment of peace. The neighbors in the flats, the dog walkers, the man and probably the dog itself. Calls resume. Just for a moment, because then the dog is back with the ball and it has to be thrown again. The dog then draws the man’s attention to this.
The fact that the dog adopted this behavior was caused by the man. Probably not intentionally, but it doesn’t matter for the result. Such a process starts with harmonious play between dog and human with ball. Then the person gets distracted and doesn’t throw for a while. The dog is waiting bored. He lets out a bark once in a while. The person looks back: ‘Oh yes, that ball.’ And what does he do? Throw him. Capital mistake. Now the dog thinks: ‘Ah, okay: if I bark, he throws.’
The next time he barks sooner. Again the man throws the ball. This is how the homo sapiens tricks of his canis lupus familiaris. If the man gets distracted in the park, there is always an attentive walker who throws the ball away to put an end to the barking.
Shot a few civilians along the way, kidnapped Maduro, sent an armada to Iran and ransacked Epstein’s island.
It reminded me of Trump and political leaders on the right. All those adults who stupidly stand around a noisy mutt and do his bidding to get him to stop making a fuss, even if only for a moment. Van Weel, Rutte, Yesilgöz – in their dog walking clothes they stand and endure the barking. They even pretend that it is positive, that noise that bounces off the concrete in all cities.
Then Rutte bends over again and throws the ball. They call that diplomacy at the highest level. At Dutch talk show tables, presenters, announcers and guests sing about Rutte’s throwing technique. It doesn’t seem to bother anyone that his pants are around his ankles after every throw. Then they praise his choice of underwear. He has barely settled down and the dog is back. With ball. And bark. Shot a few civilians along the way, kidnapped Maduro, sent an armada to Iran and ransacked Epstein’s island.
The next hottie who has an audience with Trump should bring a disposable stick and ball. If necessary, made of gold leaf. Immediately after entering, the visitor must let Trump smell the ball, move it playfully in front of his nose, put it in the swing agonizingly slowly and then throw it away hard. See what happens. Maybe then we will have some peace and quiet in parks and cities. While Trump is searching in the bushes, can we talk about important things? Ecosystem collapse or something like that.
The journalistic principles of NRC
